Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is undeniable that in world of increasing polpulation transport has become the major issue. In this regards, few people argued that it is essential to spend large amount of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities while other think the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. This essay will be outlined not only the both perspective but also my opinion which is in favor of latter point of view in upcoming paragraphs with a logical conclusion.
On a one hand, constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities will turn out beneficial for students, employees and workers to reach at a time to their school colleges and workplaces.
On the other hand, spending money on improving existing public transportation and their infrastructure can reduce the risk of accidents and can control the traffic
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify both sides of the debate and state a position in favour of improving existing transport, so the response is relevant to the task. However, the discussion is only minimal: the benefit of fast trains is limited to helping people reach school or work, while the point about reducing accidents and traffic is not explained or supported with an example. The essay also ends abruptly, without a developed conclusion or a clear comparison of the two options. The response contains 111 words, which is 139 words below the required minimum; this leaves too little space to address both views and support your opinion. Develop each main idea with explanation and a relevant example, then restate your position in a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a basic overall shape: an introduction announces the topic and your view, followed by one point for each side. Phrases such as “On a one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the contrast. However, the progression is not sustained because each body point is only one sentence, and the response stops before a conclusion. The opening sentence about population does not lead clearly into the specific arguments. Some linking language is also awkward, particularly “This essay will be outlined not only the both perspective.” To improve, organise the response into a clear introduction, developed paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, using links that show how each explanation supports your position.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “constructing new railway lines,” “public transportation,” “infrastructure,” and “risk of accidents.” This gives the reader a basic understanding of the subject. However, the range is limited, and several spelling, word-choice, and collocation problems make the writing less natural: “polpulation,” “in this regards,” “reach at a time,” and “the latter point of view in upcoming paragraphs.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “control the traffic.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and a wider range of transport-related terms, for example, describing congestion, journey times, capacity, or investment. Proofreading spelling and checking phrases in context would make your meaning clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
You attempt a longer sentence in the introduction, using “while” to contrast the two views, and the basic meaning is generally understandable. However, the range of sentence structures is narrow, and errors occur in both simple and more complex constructions. For example, “few people argued” does not fit the general present-tense discussion, “other think” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, and “This essay will be outlined” is not formed correctly for the intended meaning. The phrase “students, employees and workers to reach” also lacks a clear grammatical connection. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, agreement, and verb forms. Then add complex structures only when you can control them reliably.
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