Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

IT IS OFTEN ARGUED BY SOME PEOPLE THAT MONEY SHOULD SPEND ON CONSTRUCTING NEW RAILWAY LINES AND SOME THINK TO SPEND MONEY ON EXESTING PUBLIC TRANSPORT FOR MODIFYING OR RENOVATE THEM. I BELIEVE THAT SPEND MONEY ON NEW RAILWAY TRACKS IS MORE BENIFICIAL TO RENOVATE EXISTING ONCE AND MAKING RAILWAY LINES CAN REALLY HELPFUL OF THEIR OWN TO COUNTRY FOR GENERATING MORE MONEY HAT HELPS TO GENERATE MORE NETWORTH OF THEIR OWN COUNTRY.

ONE MAJOR POINT IS TO BUILT RAILWAY NETWORK IN TO DO BEST FACILITIES OF TRANSPORTATION BECAUSE IN RAILWAY THE COST OF TRANSPORT IN RAILWAY SEGNIFIENTLY LOWER THAN CARS OR BY AIR PLANES. FOR EXAMPLE THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE USUALLY USE TRAIN IN INDIA AND APART FROM THIS, RAILWAY USUALLY TAKE PLACE IN TRANSPORTING GOODS LIKE COALS, FURNITURES, CARS, BIKES. THEREFORE RAILWAY IS VERY PROMINANT WAY OF TRANSPORTATION.

ON THE OTHER HAND RAILWAY NETWORK CAN HELP IN TO REDUCE THE TRAFFIC IN CITIES BECAUSE OF TRAIN. IF PEOPLE USED TRAIN TO THEIR TRAVELLING TO A CITY TO OTHER CITY SO THEY CAN USEFUL FOR REDUCING TRAFFIC AND ALSO USEFUL FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SPEND LOW MONEY ON TRANSPORT BECAUSE RAILWAY SERVICES IS VERY CHEAPLER THAN ANY TYPE OF TRAVELLING VEHICALS. THEREFORE RAILWAY PLAY A SEGNIFIENT ROLE IN TRANSPORTING.

IN CONCLUSION, I BELIEVE THAT MAKING NEW RAILWAY LINE IS VERY USEFUL FOR PEOPLE WHO WANTS TO REDUCE THEIR TRANSPORTATION EXPENCE AND ALSO USEFUL FOR INDUSTRIES FOR EXPORT THAIR ITEM LIKE VEHICLES, GOODS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear preference for building new railway lines, and your points about cheaper travel, freight transport and reducing city traffic are relevant. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the response does not explain the case for improving existing public transport; the second body paragraph instead gives further reasons to support railways. Your reasons are also only briefly developed, with India and the examples of goods named but not explained in detail. The conclusion repeats your position rather than drawing together a balanced discussion. The response is 5 words below the required minimum, which also limits the space available to develop the missing side. To improve, explain the benefits of upgrading current buses, trains or local services, then support each view with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs are generally focused on transport benefits, and linking phrases such as “For example,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal stages of the argument. However, “On the other hand” suggests a contrasting view, while that paragraph continues to support railway expansion, so the relationship between ideas is unclear. Several points are repeated, particularly that railways are cheap and useful, and connections between sentences are sometimes awkward. Organise the body around the two opposing views, use transitions that accurately show contrast or addition, and make each paragraph develop one distinct main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “railway network,” “transporting goods,” “traffic” and “industries,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main points. However, the range is basic and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “useful,” “railway” and “transport.” Frequent spelling and word-choice problems—such as “exesting,” “benificial,” “segnifiently,” “cheapler” and “expence”—make the writing less clear and natural. Some combinations are also unsuitable, for example “do best facilities” and “generate more networth.” Build a more accurate set of transport collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise alternatives such as “upgrade existing services” and “freight” would help express your ideas efficiently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences using “because,” “if” and “therefore,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, sentence structures are limited and errors occur throughout, including in the opening claim (“money should spend”), the infinitive construction (“I believe that spend money”), and subject–verb agreement (“railway services is”). Articles, plurals and prepositions are also often missing or incorrectly used, as in “in railway” and “to their travelling to a city to other city.” These patterns sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended relationships. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then combine them with clauses using “because” or “although.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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