Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, citizens often argues that the government should allocate more funds for building high speed railways to cover the distance two cities more quickly. While other believes that the money should be spent on recovering as well as making them advance. However, this essay will discuss both views and will argue that it is better to build new railways for fast train because they cover more distance in a short period of time as compared to the traditional ones.

On the one hand. people say that the authorities should spend money on making new railways. This is because new and advance trains are more comfortable as compared to the traditional ones. They cover more distance in a shorter period. They are quite and more efficient and burn less fuel. New bullet trains are also eco-friendly. For example if a old train with a bigger engine burn 1000 litter fuel per hour, the new technology trains burns almost half of it.

On the other hand, people believe that the money should be spent on the pre-existing railways. This is because the think that they already exist and will take less effort to be improved. They time spent on them will also be less than the time which will be spent on building new one. The routes are already in citizens mind and they can use it without any difficulty and they can travel in the city easily.

In conclusion, although it is better to spend money of renovating the old railways, however i believe that new fast moving train tracks should be built to shorten the distance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state your preference for new high-speed railways in the introduction and conclusion. The first body paragraph gives relevant reasons—speed, comfort, efficiency and lower fuel use—and the fuel comparison is an attempt to support the point with an example. The case for improving existing transport is also presented, particularly the lower effort and the familiarity of established routes. However, that side is less fully explained, and the example about fuel use is hypothetical rather than evidence that clearly supports the wider investment decision. Your conclusion also introduces a contrast with “although” and “however” that makes your position slightly confusing. Develop the practical benefits and drawbacks of each option more evenly, then state your choice consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the discussion, and the main ideas generally appear in a sensible order. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear, however. The opening “While other believes” is an incomplete contrast, and “This is because the think” makes the reference difficult to follow. In the second body paragraph, several points are joined with “and” rather than showing how they relate. The conclusion’s “although … however” also creates an awkward relationship between the two clauses. Use clear topic sentences and vary linking methods, while making pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “high speed railways,” “traditional ones,” “eco-friendly,” and “pre-existing railways.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “allocate more funds” and “shorten the distance.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or repetitive choices reduce precision. “Recovering” does not clearly express upgrading transport, while “advance” is not the natural adjective in “new and advance trains.” “Quite” appears to be intended as “quiet,” and “shorten the distance” is less accurate than describing reduced journey times. Spelling and word-form slips such as “litter” and “citizens mind” are noticeable. Build a more precise set of transport collocations and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a concession in the introduction and a conditional example beginning “For example if…”. The main message is usually understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation affect accuracy. For instance, “citizens often argues” and “new technology trains burns” have subject–verb agreement problems; “a old train” needs an article correction; and “On the one hand.” is incorrectly punctuated as a sentence fragment. The opening “While other believes…” is also incomplete, while the final sentence combines “although” and “however” awkwardly. Practise forming complete contrast clauses and checking agreement and articles, then proofread punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.