Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some people argue that money should spend on building new fast railway lines system and others believe this money used for improving existing transport system.

The people who said that money should use only for building new fast tracks they are bored from slow trains because in today's world fast trains are used in developed countries and they also want that thing in their own country to travel fast.

Others are also true because they want to improve the already built system.

in my opinion we should spend money for improvement of existing transport system because if we improve the transport system rather than just using the money for railway then other departments are stepout from this race. people who travel through bus or rikshaws they perfer only trains. This will lead to inflation as well and eat job of many bus and taxi driver.

Firslty we discuss how other depratments of transport will effect. It effect other departments because there are few people who want to travel through taxi and bus and the departments are not improved because they cannot get improvement budget.For example if a person who want to travel fast so if the department of bus transport are slow people face delays.Buses not going from station on time then there a lot of people who quite from this service.

secondly, How this eat the jobs and cause for inflation because if all money used only for train department then people only prefer to travel on trains rahter then using the bus and taxi service.This will lead to cause of inflation. For example

A person who prefer to travel fast then he only go from the fastest service so, if train only provide fast service then he use only that service rahter than bus or taxi.

As the result, i believe that money should spend on existing system not only adding new train tracks. Money should spend on all departments to improve service and control employment issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear preference for improving existing transport, especially in the conclusion, and you give reasons involving bus and taxi services, employment, and access to transport. However, the discussion of the case for new high-speed rail is very brief: it mainly says people want faster travel because developed countries have fast trains. The opposing view therefore is not developed or supported with a concrete example. Your own argument also relies on claims such as rail use causing inflation, which are not clearly explained. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and costs of both options more fully, and show how each example supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, separate paragraphs for reasons, and a concluding statement, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, progression is uneven: the opening discussion of both views is followed by a sudden shift to “Firslty we discuss,” and the two body paragraphs repeat the idea that people will choose trains over buses and taxis. Linking phrases such as “secondly” and “As the result” provide some signposting, but connections between claims are often unclear, particularly between spending on rail and inflation. Organise the essay around one paragraph for each view and a focused paragraph or clear explanation of your own position, using transitions that show cause, contrast, and consequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant transport vocabulary, including “railway lines,” “public transport,” “bus,” “taxi,” and “employment,” which makes the topic recognisable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “eat the jobs,” “other departments are stepout from this race,” and “cause for inflation.” Spelling errors, including “Firslty,” “depratments,” and “rahter,” also reduce clarity and control. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated references to “money” and “service.” For example, describe how investment may “divert funding from other transport services” or “reduce demand for bus and taxi operators,” rather than using unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional and causal structures, but errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “money should spend” instead of a passive form, “they want that thing” without a clear grammatical reference, and “if the department of bus transport are slow,” where the subject and verb do not agree. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “then there a lot of people who quite from this service.” Most sentences rely on basic patterns, and attempts to combine ideas often produce faulty clauses. Practise accurate passive forms, subject–verb agreement, and complete conditional sentences, then check punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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