Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, government face a dilemma about how to allocate transport budgets. While some people argue for building new high speed railway lines between cities, other contend that upgrading existing public transport is more beneficial. This essay will discuss both views, before concluding that improving current system should be the priority.

On the one hand, investing on high speed intercity trains has a clear advantage, for suppose, in Japan and china, bullet trains have made it possible to travel hundreds of of kilometers in just few hours to encourage the tourism and commerce. Moreover, fast trains are environment friendly comapred to domestic flights and can reduce reliance on air travels and cars, thus lower carbon emissions aand cost as well.

on the other hand, improving existing public transportation benefit a far large number of people on daily basis, in the most cities ordinary buses, metro trains and trams are unreliable, overcrowded and poorly maintained. If this money is used to improve cleaniliness, increase frequency and reduces fares, millions of travelers will benefit immidaitely.

in my opinion, altough high speed rail is impressive, government should first improve exosting transportation system as a good transport system is the backbone of city's economy and affects everyone's quality of life.

to conculde, both approaches have merits but prioritizing the improvement of existing public transport offers more practical and widespread benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a consistent preference for improving existing transport, especially in the introduction and conclusion. The examples of Japanese and Chinese bullet trains and the benefits of cleaner, more frequent, affordable local services are relevant. However, the discussion is brief: the case for high-speed rail is mainly asserted, and the local-transport argument would benefit from a specific example or fuller explanation of how improvements affect access or daily life. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, which limits the opportunity to develop and support the ideas. Extend both sides with concrete evidence and explain why your preferred investment should take priority.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow. This coherent organisation is a strength. To make the flow more flexible and precise, connect claims to their explanations more explicitly; for example, show how reduced reliance on flights follows from faster intercity rail, and how better service frequency benefits commuters. The transition into “in my opinion” also feels abrupt because the position has already been stated in the introduction. Integrating your evaluation into the discussion would create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant transport vocabulary, including “high speed railway lines,” “overcrowded,” “poorly maintained,” “carbon emissions,” and “quality of life.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision, such as “investing on,” “air travels,” “cleaniliness,” and “immedaitely.” Some expressions are also awkward, including “to encourage the tourism and commerce.” Aim for more accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. You could also vary repeated general terms such as “improve” and “benefit” with more specific language about reliability, capacity, affordability, or access.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure beginning “If this money is used…” and a contrast clause with “While.” However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “government face” needs subject–verb agreement, “other contend” needs a plural subject, and “improving existing public transportation benefit” needs a singular verb. The phrase “for suppose” also disrupts the sentence structure. Review agreement and article use, and build complex sentences around a clear main clause. Careful proofreading for sentence boundaries and capitalization will improve accuracy.

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