Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In numerous countries, spending huge amount of money modifying the railway train lines is beneficial for better travel experience through trains among cities. Whereas, many agree that the this particular amount should be spent on updating present public transport. Overall, I completly disagree with this view as the budget used for building better and advanced rail transit should be devoted for the betterment of pre-existing local transport.

One one hand, consuming a tidy sum on reconstructing railway lines just to make travel fast is contended by many critics as the financial crisis of the country is on low demand and can cause a problem in economic growth of the country. of For instance, the remodelling of new railway tracks leads to destruction of roads with immense traffic which creats a great havoic among citizens.

On the other hand, heavy budget should

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the two positions and state a preference for improving existing local transport, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the first view is introduced, but the explanation is incomplete, and the second view stops at “On the other hand, heavy budget should”. The conclusion is also absent, and your stated position is confusing because you say you “completly disagree with this view” immediately before supporting that view. The example about railway construction disrupting roads is relevant but not sufficiently explained. The response is also substantially below the required minimum length, leaving the task’s main parts largely unanswered. Develop both arguments, clarify your opinion, and support it with specific reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and contrasting body paragraphs, using signposts such as “Whereas,” “One one hand,” and “On the other hand.” This gives the reader some indication of the intended structure. However, the ideas do not progress coherently because the second body paragraph is unfinished and there is no conclusion. The opening also presents a confusing relationship between the two views and your opinion, so the overall direction is difficult to follow. Some linking expressions are inaccurate or awkward, and the example is not clearly connected to a developed explanation. Plan a complete sequence—introduce the debate, explain each side in a separate paragraph, then state and summarise your position—and use transitions that accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt some topic-specific vocabulary, including “railway lines,” “public transport,” “economic growth,” and “remodelling,” which shows an effort to discuss transport and infrastructure. There is also some variety in phrasing, such as “betterment of pre-existing local transport.” However, the range is limited by awkward or inaccurate word choices and collocations, including “financial crisis … is on low demand,” “railway train lines,” and “a great havoic.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. Spelling errors such as “completly” and “creats” also reduce accuracy. Aim for simpler, precise expressions where needed, and check spelling and common word partnerships; for example, describe pressure on public finances rather than a crisis being “on low demand.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “Whereas” and a sentence explaining that railway remodelling “leads to” disruption. However, control is inconsistent, and several errors make the response difficult to read. Examples include “spending huge amount” (missing an article), “the this particular amount” (incorrect determiner), and “One one hand” (repetition). The opening sentence also joins contrasting ideas awkwardly, while “of For instance” shows a punctuation and sentence-boundary problem. The final sentence is incomplete, so the second argument cannot be understood. Practise accurate article use, sentence boundaries, and complete clauses, then proofread each sentence to ensure its grammatical structure is finished and clear.

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