Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

IN THIS NEOTARIC ERA COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIALLY PLAYS A ROLE INN OUR LIVES. OWING TO THIS, IN MAJORITY OF COUNTRIES, A SEGMENT OF INDIVIDUALS ASSERT THAT IT IS THE SIGNIFICANT TO SPENT EXPENCES ON INTRODUCED RAILWAY LINES FOR REDUCED TRAVELLING TIME BETWEEN CITIES.WHILE OTHER OPONENT THAT THE MONEY SPENT ON IMPROVING OTHER PUBLIC TRASPORT.THIS ESSAY WILL DEBATED QUESTION TYPES. I CONCUR WITH BOTH THIS VIEW POINTAND SUPPORTING POINT WHICH WILL BE ELABORATED IN THE SUBSEQUNT PARAGRAPHS.

ON THE ONE HAND, SPENDING MONEY ON BUILED NEW RAILWAYS TRACKS.THE MAIN RESON FOR THIS PERSPECTIVE IS THAT USEFULL TO EASY COMMUNICATION BETWEEN TWO CITIES.TO EXPLAIN IN DETAIL, WHEN TIME FOR TRAVELLING REDUCED IT CAN BE HELPS TO IN EMERGENCY SITUATION. FOR EXAMPLE , WHEN ARMY NEED THEIRE WEAPONS AND EXPLOSIVE ITEMS FROM OTHER STATE OR COUNTRY THEY CAN EASILY TRANSPOT THE ITEMS , WHICH CAN SAVE THE LOT OF TIME . IT HELPS TO INCRESED BOND BETWEEN TWO COUNTRIES.ANOTHER SIGNIFICANT MERITS OF SPENT MONEY ON BETTER TRACKS IS THAT IT CAN DECRESED THE DANGOUROUSE INJURIES. TO ELABORATED FURTHER, WHEN AGOOD TRACKS CONDITION PREVENT THE MAJORITY OF ACCIDENT , WHICH INCREASED THE SAFETY OF PUBLIC , WHO PREFERRED TRAIN FOR TRAVELLING PURPOUSE.THEREFORE, IT IS IMPORTANT TO SPENT MORE MONEY ON RAILWAY DEPARTMENT.

ON THE OTHER HAND, MANY PEOPLE ASSERT THAT MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT ON IMPROVING PUBLIC TRANSPORT. THE PRIMARY RESON BEHIND THIS THAT IS MAJORITY OF INDIVIDULS PREFERRED TO LOCAL SUBWAYS, BUSES AND COMMUTER TRAINS SO THAT GOVERNMENT INVEST THEIRE FUNDS ON CITIZENES OF COUNTRY INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ONLY ONE SECTOR. IN ADDITION, IT CAN BE DEVELOPED MORE ESSY WAY FOR DAILY BASIS TRANSPOTER AS WELL AS IT CAN HELPS TO REDUCE DAILY EXPENCES OF LOCAL PUBLIC.HENCEFORTH IT HELPS TO PEOPLE FOR SAVING MONEY ON THEIR DAILY BASIS.

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, ALTHOUGH IT IS ESSENTIAL FOR MAKING GOOD CONNECTION AMONG THE STATE. HOWEVER, ALSO MONEY SPENT ON LOCAL TRASNPOT IT CAN HELPS TO BECOME DEVELOPED NATIONS.

TO COCLUDE, SPENDING MONEY ON RAILWAY TRACKS IT INCRESED OVERALL ECONOMIC GROTH AND BETTER CONNECTIVITY. WHILE SPENT MONEY ON LOCAL TRANSPORT ALSO HELPS TO PEOPLE FOR SAVING THEIRE OWN MONEY.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both proposed uses of public money and give a view, so the response addresses the main parts of the task. The railway paragraph offers reasons about faster emergency transport and safer tracks, while the public-transport paragraph mentions the needs of daily commuters and lower costs. However, some support is unclear or only loosely connected to passenger rail investment: the example about moving weapons and the claim that railways increase bonds between countries need clearer explanation. Your position is also difficult to identify consistently: “I concur with both” is followed by a conclusion that lists benefits of both options without stating which should receive priority. Develop the comparison and state a clear, consistent preference to strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your perspective, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track because several claims are joined without clear explanation, and the final opinion paragraph does not resolve the competing views. Some linking phrases are mechanical or do not express the relationship accurately, such as “Henceforth” before a result about saving money. Improve cohesion by linking each example directly to its main point, using clear references, and making the conclusion follow logically from your stated position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “railway tracks,” “public transport,” “commuter trains,” “connectivity,” and “economic growth.” This gives you some relevant language for discussing transport and investment. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms or collocations make the meaning harder to understand, as in “neotaric era,” “spent expences,” “dangerouse injuries,” and “daily basis transporter.” Several phrases are also vague or unnatural, including “good connection among the state” and “developed more easy way.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding difficult-sounding words. Proofread spelling and learn useful phrases such as “invest in rail infrastructure” and “improve local transport services” as complete units.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer clauses, including a conditional idea beginning “when time for travelling reduced” and a relative clause about people “who preferred train.” These attempts show some effort to vary sentence structure. However, many sentences contain errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and clause construction, which sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “it can be helps” combines incompatible verb forms, and “the primary reason behind this that is” has a faulty clause structure. There are also incomplete or poorly connected sentences, such as “While other opponent that…” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time; check articles and verb agreement during editing.

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