Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

These days increasing number of people use money in public transport. In a some of nations, certain people suggest it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast tarin between cities. Others believe the money should be spend on grew existing public transport. Prior to my stance, both the viewpoints would be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and examples.

On the one hand, also increasing sums fast train so people could reach on that place early. Moreover fast public transportion also important because some time that use an emergency work. If train was slow, we reach late. Some we was kept tied. As example, my uncle visit in dang and that place no hospital. After we went in railway station and train not came on time. As a result, my uncle was die.

On the other hand, some people think the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. After people could use transport. In that time having traffic in public transport. Therefore people choose privet vehical. As example, when i went for college that time having traffic in addition i reached at college after two hour travelling. After i use my own bike for college. Same as other people think however government spent money on public transport.

In conclusion, govermnet saw problem where place we improvment after they should be action. However both statement impoertant when we was in troubling. In my opinion first we understand situation after we use money on perticular thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce both views and give a personal position, but the discussion only minimally addresses the task. The fast-train paragraph focuses on arriving sooner and recounts your uncle’s death after a delayed train, while the existing-transport paragraph describes traffic and your decision to use a bike. These examples are relevant, but the reasons are not explained enough to show why either investment would solve the problems or benefit people more broadly. Your conclusion—“we use money on particular thing”—does not make a clear choice between the proposals. The response also contains 222 words, so it is 28 words below the 250-word minimum; 35 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop each side with a clear explanation and state your preference directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its basic structure. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: “If train was slow, we reach late. Some we was kept tied” does not clearly connect the point about speed to the example that follows. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal stages, but some transitions are mechanical or do not show the relationship between ideas. The conclusion also repeats that both statements are important without resolving the discussion. Use a clearer sequence in each body paragraph—claim, explanation, example—and make references such as “that place” explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “railway lines,” “public transport,” “traffic,” and “emergency,” which helps identify the topic. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choice or spelling sometimes makes meaning harder to understand. Examples include “fast tarin,” “grew existing public transport,” “privet vehical,” and “kept tied”; these do not communicate the intended ideas clearly. “Increasing sums fast train” is also an awkward expression. Aim to learn accurate collocations for transport investment and its effects, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain benefits and problems rather than relying repeatedly on general words such as “people,” “money,” and “thing.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentence forms, for example, “After people could use transport” and “when I went for college,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and errors are frequent enough to obscure meaning. Verb forms and agreement are inconsistent: “the money should be spend,” “my uncle was die,” and “we reach late” need corrected forms. Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “In a some of nations” and “As example, my uncle visit in dang.” Several clauses are joined without clear grammatical relationships, as in “After i use my own bike for college. Same as other people think however government spent money.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then connect them with correctly formed subordinate clauses and consistent past or present tense.

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