Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays , many people believe that it is important to spend large amount of money on constructing and building new railway lines for very fast trains to connect cities .While some people think that the money should be use differently to boost and develop existing public transpuments ort .From my point of view, I agree both arguments are reasonable and well-supported.

Firstly, People who think to spend huge amount of money to construct railway citiies .This can be because they really need a path that will connect one city to another to ease transportation, thereby reducing the cost and reducing time wastage. For example, the German system with train stations in every city connecting one another makes it cheaper and faster for me to travel.

Secondly, those who believe that ,it is better to improve our existing transport facilities are the ones who turn to avoid innovation . Also it can also be that, the government of a country can decide to maintain it's current transportation facility because they make alot of profits and fear that when trying to innovate, they will turn to loss profit. As a result ,the prefer to stay in their zone of confort. For example , The Cameroonian government will prefer to maintain and improve a transport facility to have a regular cash flow.

In conclusion, both spending large incomes on constructing new railways and improving transport of a country is wo

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both views and give examples, including German rail connections and the Cameroonian government’s transport policy, so the response is relevant to the topic. However, the discussion is only partial: the benefits of new high-speed lines are briefly mentioned, while the case for improving existing transport is framed mainly as governments wanting to protect profits, rather than explaining how upgrades help passengers. Your opinion that “both arguments are reasonable” is stated, but you do not clearly say how the investment should be balanced or which option you favour. The conclusion is unfinished (“is wo…”), leaving the response without a complete final position. The response also falls 13 words short of the required minimum. Develop each view with clearer reasons and complete the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and an attempted conclusion. “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the claim that people who support improving transport “turn to avoid innovation” does not clearly follow from the point about maintaining facilities for profit. The opening sentence also shifts abruptly from the two views to your opinion. The conclusion stops mid-sentence, so the essay does not reach a coherent ending. Use topic sentences that state each argument clearly, connect explanations to their examples, and finish with a concise summary of your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “railway lines,” “transportation,” “transport facilities,” and “regular cash flow,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or awkward choices make parts difficult to understand. “Transportpuments ort” appears to be a typing or word-choice error, while “construct railway citiies” does not express the intended idea clearly. Phrases such as “stay in their zone of confort” are informal and misspelled, and “spend large incomes” is not a natural way to describe public investment. Aim for precise collocations and check spelling carefully. More accurate phrases such as “expand rail infrastructure” and “upgrade existing public transport networks” would make the discussion clearer and more appropriate to an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure with “thereby reducing the cost and reducing time wastage.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction and verb forms sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “the money should be use differently” needs a passive verb form, and “People who think to spend huge amount…” is an incomplete, awkwardly formed sentence. The final sentence is also unfinished, preventing a complete grammatical conclusion. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, particularly around commas and full stops. Practise forming complete topic sentences and checking subject–verb patterns, articles, and verb forms; then proofread each sentence to ensure it is complete and clearly punctuated.

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