Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In various countries, Few individuals belive it is beneficial to put large amount of money on the development of new railway lines for very fast trains between the different cities. Meanwhile, others think the money can be spent to improve the public transport that already exists. Although it can improve intercity transport if we spend large sum of money in public transport it is more important if we spend that money on new fast railway lines.

Spending on already made public transport can help in less transport congestion. Citizens would prefer to travel by public transport instead of private vehicles and same goes for individual with jobs with can substantially improve the traffic problem and it can also be beneficial for environment.

But spending that money on fast railway tracks means there is a faster way to travel in different cities. A country good and most of the materials usually travel by trains espacially in Pakistan where we are from. Making a good railway system can last quite longer. For example in pakistan most of the railway system was created by british colonizers but the system was so good that we still use it till this date. However, we still need do improvement according to our needs. People who travel between different cities are substantially more than people who travel by car so development in railway can also be benefial for climate change too.

In conclusion, it makes more sense to first develop a fast railway train tracks than to spend the same amount of money on already excisting public transport which is already hlping individuals travel in the same city.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both options and state a clear preference for new fast railway lines, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. The points about reducing congestion and emissions through public transport, and improving intercity travel through rail investment, are relevant. However, the two views are not developed evenly: the case for improving existing transport is brief, while the railway argument relies on broad claims about Pakistan’s rail network and its colonial origins. The example does not fully explain how new high-speed lines would address current needs, and the comparison between city and intercity travellers is asserted rather than supported. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and limitations of each investment more specifically and connect examples directly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion that restates your preference. This gives the reader a basic route through the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and links between ideas can feel abrupt. For example, the railway paragraph moves from faster travel to goods, then to the British-built system, and finally to climate change without clearly showing how each point supports the argument. Some connections are also repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “also” and “substantially.” Improve cohesion by grouping related points, using clearer cause-and-effect links, and making references such as “that money” and “the system” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “transport congestion,” “private vehicles,” “railway system,” and “climate change,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “intercity transport.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “large amount of money,” “fast railway train tracks,” “good and most of the materials,” and “benefial” are examples. Repetition of “spend,” “money,” and “improve” also makes the discussion less flexible. Build a wider set of accurate transport-related phrases and check spelling and collocations so that your intended meaning is consistently clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession with “Although” and a relative clause beginning “People who travel between different cities.” This shows some range, but complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. For example, “Although it can improve intercity transport if we spend large sum of money in public transport it is more important…” has an unclear clause structure, while “individual with jobs with can substantially improve” is grammatically incomplete. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “A country good and most of the materials usually travel by trains.” Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas with controlled clauses and accurate punctuation.

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