Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Depends on society environment and thier atmospher due to fact some people belives that children take its own decison like wearning clother their own choices and make a fun and ententainment and food selection.

nowdays society impact on children life and their behviour. secondly we know that technology have much signifacantly advanced that why children may have seen social media platform they signifacantly impact on their life and their attitude.

That,s why children take its own decision on their all format.

some years ago children don,t rely and dependent on their choice because they have not sources to make a choice such as food ,clothes and enterainment.

currently parents need to polish children skills and motivated them and also working on their ethics skills

on my prospective,children have their own choice to buy clothes and make a fun and entertainment together with close friend and make a decison to ate dinner lunch together because today have a modern day.people may seen and follow to each other.

in conculsion.people make its own decision is a better choice rather than they have stricts rules and regulations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You express a relevant personal view that children should have some freedom, especially in choosing clothes, entertainment and meals, and you briefly refer to the opposing concern through the need to develop children’s ethics. However, the discussion of both views is not sufficiently clear or balanced: the claim that children may become self-centred is not explained, and the benefits of allowing children to decide are mostly listed rather than supported with reasons or examples. Your position becomes clearest in the final sentence, but it is not developed throughout. The response is also 66 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to address the task fully. To improve, explain each viewpoint, give a specific example, and state your opinion clearly from the introduction onward.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, several points about children and society, a personal opinion, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “secondly,” “that’s why,” and “in conclusion” show an effort to guide the reader. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear sequence: the discussion shifts from technology to past circumstances, then parenting, without showing how each point relates to the two views in the question. Paragraphing is absent, and some references, such as “that” in “That’s why,” are unclear. Use separate paragraphs for the opposing arguments and your own view, and link each sentence explicitly to the point being developed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “social media,” “behaviour,” “ethics,” “strict rules and regulations,” and “decision.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing children’s choices and society. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are frequent enough to make parts difficult to understand, for example “wearning clother,” “make a fun and ententainment,” and “on my prospective.” Several key terms are also repeated, particularly “choice” and “decision,” without more precise alternatives. Build accuracy with topic phrases such as “make independent choices,” “develop a sense of responsibility,” and “become self-centred,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to express reasons and relationships, including with “because” and “that’s why,” and it includes both short statements and longer sentence attempts. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to follow, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. For example, “technology have much significantly advanced” has an agreement problem, while “children take its own decision” does not use a consistent subject and possessive form. The opening is also a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Practise writing clear subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking that verbs agree with their subjects and that each sentence has a complete main clause.

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