Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often debated whether children should be allowed to make decisions related to their everyday activities, whilst other people argue that children should be prohibited from making decisions related to them because it can lead to selfishness. This essay argues that children should be permitted to make decisions about the matters that affect them.

Giving freedom to make decisions at an early age lead to self-confident adults in a society. The adults who were allowed to make decisions on their own, developed a stronger decision making skill and posseses self-confidence. This confidence given to children at an early age helped them to make better career-related choices based on their interest. A comparison conducted between two children, out of one was allowed to make decisions in childhood while the other was prohibited. The first children made better career-related choices, whilst the second remained confused.

However, many people disagree and argue that giving freedom to making decisions at an early age may lead to selfish adults. The children who are allowed to make decisions about their everyday matters may only start thinking about their own good while neglecting the care for others in a society. Despite this, caring adults can still be raised by providing them proper guidance about right and wrong. Educational institutions, particularly schools, should engage students in activities to promote careness and kindness for others while keeping the self-confidence. For instance, an adult who was allowed to make choices at an early age might select voluntary work out of personal interest.

In conclusion, people often consider it negative to give freedom to children to make decisions about their everyday activities as they think it might lead to selfishess. However, this essay disagree with this point and states that giving freedom at an early age can improve decision making skills, and boost self-confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state your position clearly: the introduction and conclusion support allowing children to make choices, while the third paragraph explains the concern that this could encourage self-centredness. Your reasons—greater confidence and stronger decision-making—are relevant, and the example of choosing voluntary work helps connect personal choice with concern for others. However, some support is under-developed or unclear. The comparison between “two children” is presented without context or evidence, and the link between everyday choices and later career decisions needs more explanation. The opposing view is also described mainly as a possible outcome rather than supported with a specific example. Develop each point with a clearer explanation and a concrete, credible illustration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph supporting children’s choices, a paragraph presenting the concern about selfishness, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “However,” “Despite this,” and “For instance” help signal the relationship between ideas. Some connections are nevertheless mechanical or unclear. For example, “A comparison conducted between two children” appears abruptly, and the reader is not told who conducted it or how it supports the preceding claim. The repeated phrasing about making decisions also limits flow, while “Despite this” does not clearly identify what it refers to. Use more precise referencing and link each example explicitly to the claim it illustrates; this would make progression smoother and cohesion less dependent on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “self-confidence,” “career-related choices,” “neglecting,” and “voluntary work,” which allows you to discuss both personal development and social responsibility. However, several word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling problems reduce precision. “Posseses” and “selfishess” are misspelled, while “car eness” is not the appropriate form; use “possesses,” “selfishness,” and “care” or “kindness.” Phrases such as “freedom to making decisions” and “the care for others” are also unnatural. Repetition of “make decisions” and “at an early age” makes the vocabulary less flexible. Aim for accurate collocations and vary expressions, for example with “exercise choice” or “develop sound judgement.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a contrast clause beginning “while” and the concession “Despite this,” and your meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain. In “Giving freedom to make decisions at an early age lead,” the gerund subject requires “leads”; “The adults who were allowed …, developed” has an unnecessary comma; and “out of one was allowed” is an incorrectly formed clause. There are also agreement and form problems in “The first children made” and “this essay disagree,” which should be “the first child” and “this essay disagrees.” Review subject–verb agreement, clause construction, and punctuation around relative clauses. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control without sacrificing the range you already attempt.

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