Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, there has been increasing debate whether allowing children to make their own choices effects in a generation who only thinks about their own whishes or not . I largely disagree that allowing kids to make their own chocies makes a selfish generation, as allowing them to make their own choices makes the kids independent and it improves their physical as well as mental health.

There are some drawbacks to allow children to make their choices, particularly allowing kids to make their own choices may make them less responsible about others. But this happens only when his parents did not teach him and did not spend time with him.

However, I would aurge that allowing kids to make their own choices makes them selfish because it makes them independent. this is due to the fact that it helps them to move freely they don't wait to buy something because their parents allowed them to buy whatever they want. As a reslut, the can pay more attention to other things rather than thinking about what they want to buy.

the secong reason is that allowing children to make their own choices improves their physical and mental health. for example a kid want to play cricket but his parents forced him to play football because it is very popular in the world. As a result, he did not find any interest in football and cannot play good. The same scenario goes with education. for example a student want to study want to study computer science but his parents compel him to study biology. As a result, he fell into depression.

In conclusion i believe that the sKids should allowed to make their own choices. This is due to it makes them independent and healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall opinion that children should make their own choices, and you offer relevant examples involving sport and education. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing view receives only brief treatment: you mention that children may become less responsible towards others, but do not explain this concern or illustrate it. Your main reasons—independence and better physical and mental health—are relevant, yet the explanation of independence is unclear and does not convincingly show why it prevents selfishness. The position also becomes confusing in “I would argue that allowing kids … makes them selfish because it makes them independent,” which contradicts your stated view. Develop both perspectives and make the reasoning behind your opinion consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to a counterpoint, supporting reasons and a conclusion. Some linking expressions, such as “However,” “As a result” and “In conclusion,” help signal relationships between ideas. Nevertheless, progression is uneven: the paragraph beginning “However” is very brief, while the later reasons are not clearly separated or fully connected. Several links are repetitive, especially “As a result,” and the relationship between independence and not thinking about purchases is difficult to follow. The sentence beginning “I would argue” also conflicts with the introduction, disrupting the overall line of argument. Use one paragraph for each view, connect examples explicitly to the claim they support, and ensure references such as “this” have a clear meaning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small range of topic-relevant vocabulary, including “independent,” “responsible,” “physical and mental health,” and “depression.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling or word-choice errors reduce clarity, including “whishes,” “chocies,” “aurge,” “reslut,” and “secong.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “effects in a generation” and “move freely they don't wait to buy something.” Repetition of “allowing kids to make their own choices” further limits flexibility. Build a more accurate range for discussing autonomy and responsibility, and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “make independent decisions” and “consider other people’s needs” where they fit your meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “as,” and “when,” and the reader can generally identify your main points. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “There are some drawbacks to allow” needs a gerund after “to,” while “a kid want” and “he fell into depression” show problems with agreement and tense. The sentence “the can pay more attention” is also difficult to interpret, and several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation. Practise building accurate complex sentences, check subject–verb agreement and tense consistency, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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