Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people think that letting kids choose small things like food or clothes all the time can make them grow up to only care about themselves and ignore others. Other individuals believe that allowing children make their own choice helps them learn how to solve problems and make good decisions when they grow up. From my perspective, I believe that giving children freedom to make everyday choice is essential and parents still guide them on basic manners and respect for others.

On the one hand, many people argue that giving children total control over small matters like food, beverage, clothing and entertainment can lead to selfishness. When children get their own way without limits, they might grow up thinking that only personal issues matter. For example, in western countires kids become less considerable to their family members and friends because they used to putting themselves first.

On the other hand, allowing children to make independent decision plays vital role in their personal development. When parents let children to take their own decisions like buying clothing or anything it teach them how to face consequences and how to intrect with each other. By giving the independence to their kids can enhance their self confidence and ability to tackle serious issues. For instance, in Pakistan under matric students are given freedom to make their own decision and to face consequences to built courage and confidence to tackle the situation.

In conclusion, I believe that giving children absoulte freedom in everyday matters raise cocern about selfiness, allowing them to make guided choice can enhance their self confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state a clear position: children should have freedom, while parents continue to teach manners and respect. The two body paragraphs also give relevant reasons, including the risk of self-centredness and the benefits of learning to face consequences. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. The example about children in Western countries is a broad generalisation and does not clearly show how everyday choices cause selfishness; the Pakistan example is also difficult to interpret because the link between students’ decisions and everyday matters is not made explicit. Develop these examples with a specific situation and explain how it supports your argument. Your conclusion restates your view, but could more clearly resolve the contrast between unrestricted choice and guided choice.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and the main ideas are generally grouped appropriately. This already gives the essay a coherent arrangement. To make the flow more flexible and precise, strengthen the links between claims and examples. For instance, the Western-countries example follows the point about selfishness, but the causal connection is not explained. Some transitions also feel formulaic, and the final paragraph repeats the central ideas rather than drawing them together. Use clearer references and brief explanations to show how each example supports the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “personal development,” “face consequences,” “self confidence,” and “basic manners.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and there is some attempt to use more specific language than simple everyday terms. However, word choice, collocation, and spelling are often inaccurate, which makes some phrases unclear or unnatural. Examples include “less considerable to their family members,” “intrect with each other,” and “raise cocern about selfiness.” Several key terms are also repeated, particularly “decision,” “freedom,” and “confidence.” Work on accurate word forms and natural collocations, and proofread spelling. A more precise vocabulary range would help express the distinction between independent choice and selfish behaviour.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the introduction and a conditional sentence beginning “When children get their own way.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For example, “allowing children make” needs an infinitive marker, “it teach them” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “By giving the independence to their kids can enhance” is an incomplete construction. There are also problems with articles and plural forms, as in “plays vital role” and “independent decision.” Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and articles during revision. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex ideas easier to follow.

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