Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is commonly believed by a few individuals that parents who allow their children to do everyday tasks, such as food, clothes and entertainment according to their choises is result in society of individuals who think only about their own whishes, while some people think it is necessary for them to make decisions about matters that affect them. This essay will discuss both views and I will give my own opinion.

On the one hand, some people think allowing children to make their own decisions have bad impact on individuals of the society. Some parents allow their children to eat according at their taste, for instance, some children eat fast food everyday which badly affect to their health. They gain weight and have impact on their digestion. Apart from this, some children buy branded clothes which are very expensive. They do not care about money how their father earn. They go on trips, late night parties with their friends without asking anyone to their family.

On the other hand, some people think it is important for children to make decisions about matters because they affected them. To justift it, if parents do not allow children to make decisions of their life they do not set goals of their life. They always think they have to do whatever their parents say. However, not all children are careless, some children are think about their future, ambition and family despite their parents allow them to do anything. For example, some children put efforts to become a doctor, engineer and teacher for improve their society.

In conclusion, although there are some bad impact on children's life to allowing them to make decisions by own, many students take right path of their life. They think about theirt career and set goals. Parents should allow their children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a position, especially in the conclusion that parents should allow children to make decisions. The examples about unhealthy food and children pursuing careers are relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the first view is illustrated with spending and parties, but the link between these choices and becoming self-centred is not fully explained. The second view also needs a clearer account of how everyday decisions build independence or responsibility. Your opinion is clearest at the end, while the introduction mainly promises to discuss the topic. Explain the consequences of each view and state your position more directly from the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. Within paragraphs, however, ideas sometimes appear as a list rather than a developed sequence—for example, the first body paragraph moves from fast food to branded clothes, trips, and parties without clearly connecting each example to its main claim. Some links are also unclear, as in “However, not all children are careless.” Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s central point, then explain how each example supports it. Clearer referencing and transitions between claims would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “decisions,” “goals,” “ambition,” and “society,” and the reader can generally understand your meaning. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make expression awkward, such as “choises,” “whishes,” “bad impact,” and “eat according at their taste.” Phrases such as “do not care about money how their father earn” also do not express the intended idea naturally. Aim to learn vocabulary in complete collocations and check spelling and word forms. More precise terms for the central ideas—such as independence, self-centredness, responsibility, and parental guidance—would help you explain both sides with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “although” and conditional structures such as “if parents do not allow children…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur throughout. For example, “allowing children to make their own decisions have bad impact” has a subject–verb agreement problem and a missing article, while “some children are think” uses an incorrect verb pattern. In “which badly affect to their health,” the clause also has an inaccurate grammatical pattern. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a subordinate clause, and check agreement and verb forms before adding more complexity.

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