Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

"The topic illustrates children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food,clothes and entertainment.intially,children have choices.Now a days children,have more options to buy anything,because some children are poor.And some children are rich.Many children convinenced their parents to buy many types of clothes from shops.Morever,children also like fast foods For example:Pizza,Burger etc.It plays a vital role in society.However,many children have choice to select entertainment on tv or any types of social media.There are some advantages of children their own choice.It feels happy and relaxed.This essay will highlights the children their own choices on everyday.On the other hand,it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.Many children do not want to choice of foods like they do not think they eat nutritional choices and healthy eating habits.They think that which leisure activities they should spent.Furhthermore,children have to allowed to select their clothing preferences.And also children have to allowed to their deitary preferences.For example:-Staple food and beverages.Children live's would be easier after these food items,clothing items and liesutre activities.Parents should not force to children to choose these items.It is a good and necccesary way for all children to save their money.Children would be very happy after choosing their liesure activities.Children should also enjoy various forms of entertainment such as cartoons and films.In conclusion,people should have to freedom to choose any type of activity.in my opinion,allowing children to make their own choice in every day matters such as food,clothes and entertianment where children thinks abotut their own wishes."

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response recognises the topic and includes a view that children should have freedom to choose, but it does not clearly or fully discuss both positions. The first view is mostly described through examples of buying clothes, fast food and choosing entertainment; the concern that this could encourage selfishness is not explained. The second view is also difficult to follow, and the claim that children should choose healthy food is not supported with a clear reason or example. Your opinion appears in the conclusion, but it is unclear and does not directly weigh the two views. The response is 226 words, so it is 24 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop the discussion. Explain each view and support your position with relevant reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response, including an opening, a shift marked by “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear sequence, and the paragraphing does not separate the two views effectively. Several points are placed together without showing how they connect, such as the discussion of food choices, clothing, leisure activities and saving money. Linking phrases such as “Morever” and “Furhthermore” are used, but they do not always clarify the relationship between ideas. The conclusion repeats the topic rather than bringing the discussion together. Use one focused paragraph for each view, connect examples to the point they support, and make references such as “these choices” clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “everyday matters,” “nutritional choices,” “clothing preferences” and “forms of entertainment.” These expressions show an attempt to discuss the subject beyond very basic terms. However, the range is often repetitive, especially with repeated uses of “children,” “choice” and “activities,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear. For example, “children convinenced their parents” and “children live's would be easier” make the intended meaning difficult to identify. Spelling errors such as “intially,” “Morever” and “liesutre” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable set of phrases for discussing independence, parental guidance and self-centred behaviour, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both short statements and longer sentences, and some basic meanings can be understood. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or incorrectly formed, which makes relationships between ideas unclear. For instance, “There are some advantages of children their own choice” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “children have to allowed to select” uses an incorrect verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “This essay will highlights” and the run-on opening that joins several ideas with full stops or commas inconsistently. These errors occur across the response, although the reader can still identify the general topic. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check verb forms, articles and punctuation.

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