Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Certain people argue that making children free to select whatever they want in daily life, such as selection of food , types of colthes they want to wear and the entertainment make them self-oriented and selfish.However, some people believe that it is important for the young ones to make decisions about the matters which influence them.In my opinion, it is crucial to younger generations to become independent in making their own choices on everyday matters so that they become more confident and skillful in selecting the priorities in their lives that can influence them.

The people who claim that allowing children to select the food, clothes and entertainment tends to make them selfish and self-centred because they always prioritise only their own wishes instead of considering other person,s choices.This is because of the fact that they are grown up with such behaviors.For instance, siblings who are competing for the facilities and resources such as food, toys and books would not be agreed to compromise and do not consider the urgent needs of the other person.These habits make them a non-accomodating individual of the society.

However, despite of all these negative aspects, i strongly believe that a considerable proportion of population is agreed that it is significanly important to allow the children to make their decision.Independency brings a sense taking responsibility of their choices that can make them more vigilent in making decisions.By helding the accountable for their selection.

In conclusion, it is very important to make children independent in to make their own choices in every day matters such as eatables, dresses and the source of entertainment,however, incorporation of the notion that values of the society are an inportant aspect to teach them. Empathy, kindness and ethical considerations are some of them.

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and make your position clear: you support children making everyday choices, while also recognising the need to teach social values. The discussion of selfishness is relevant, and the example of siblings competing for food, toys and books helps illustrate the concern. However, the opposing view is developed more fully than your own case for independence. You mention responsibility, confidence and decision-making, but the paragraph breaks off after “By helding the accountable for their selection,” so the reasoning and any example are not completed. The conclusion adds empathy and kindness, but these ideas would be more convincing if explained in the main discussion. Develop each reason with a clear explanation and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting the concern about selfishness, a paragraph supporting children’s choices, and a conclusion. Contrast markers such as “However” help signal the shift between views, and the conclusion returns to your position. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, though. The sentence fragment “By helding the accountable for their selection” interrupts the second body paragraph, and the final sentence introduces social values without showing how they connect to the preceding point. The long opening sentence also combines several ideas without clear punctuation. Use complete paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, explanation and example, and make references such as “these habits” explicitly identify the behaviour being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “self-oriented,” “self-centred,” “prioritise,” “compromise,” and “ethical considerations.” These choices show some range, but inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations sometimes make the expression awkward: “Independency,” “vigilent,” “inportant,” and “a sense taking responsibility” are examples. Phrases such as “a non-accomodating individual of the society” are also unnatural, and “eatables” is not an appropriate choice for this context. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than using more elaborate wording where a simpler phrase is clearer. Proofread spelling and check unfamiliar vocabulary in context; this will make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a relative clause in “choices … that can influence them.” Most of the intended meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “the entertainment make them” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the population is agreed” uses an incorrect verb construction. The fragment “By helding the accountable…” is incomplete, and “it is crucial to younger generations to become independent” has an awkward grammatical pattern. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, particularly around sentence boundaries. Practise completing sentences and checking agreement, verb patterns and articles; then proofread each sentence for punctuation.

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