Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemporary societies, people argue that when children are allowed to make decisions for themselves regarding what they should eat, clothes to wear and even the type of leisure they want, that it can result to them being selfish individuals who care for only themselves, while others champion that it is necessary for children to make their own decisions. Children making their own decision can enable them to develop self reliance and a sense of belonginging. In my opinion, I completely believe that letting them make their day-to-day choices might foster independence more than self-centeredness and also build interpersonal relationship. These points will be explained in the following paragraghs with relevant example followed by a logaical conclusion.

To begin with, when children are allowed to make basic choices regarding what they should wear, what to eat and watch for entertainment, they develop a sense of reliance. They can subsequently decide what is good or bad for them as they have been able to develop a good sense of reasoning overtime. Also, these children feel a strong sense of belonging as they perceived been loved and cared for when allowed to make choices for themselves. For example, a child who ends up picking up the type of clothes he or she wants to wear daily, they instantly feel they are loved completely by their care-givers.

Furthermore, I am of the opinion that a good interpersonal relationship is being built rather than self-centeredness when children make decisions for themselves. Here, they are able to comunicate their feelings better without holding back; they can also ask questions and elicit responses from their guadians and be guided appropriately. Furthermore, they become independent without realising it. They do not depend on their parents or guardians when making decisions or choices for themselves. Take, for instance a child that has been allowed to make basic choices all their lives, they end up making positive decisions later in life; and when those choices do not come out good, they tend to learn from their mistakes and move on.

In conclusion, while children should be allowed to make basic choices for themselves, I am of the opinion that they develop a sense of independence and good interpersonal relationship rather than selfishness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear opinion that children’s everyday choices are more likely to foster independence and relationships than selfishness, and you support this with relevant points about reasoning, communication and learning from mistakes. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the concern that children may become self-centred is not meaningfully explained or supported; it is mainly repeated in the introduction and conclusion. Some supporting ideas are also under-developed: for example, the clothing example asserts that choice makes a child feel loved, but does not explain why this outweighs the risk of self-interest. Develop the opposing view fairly, then compare it with your position and use more specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with a generally logical progression from independence to relationships. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, particularly with repeated “Furthermore,” and some references are unclear. In “a child that has been allowed to make basic choices all their lives,” the pronoun and time reference do not fit smoothly. The introduction also previews “these points” without clearly mapping the discussion, while the body paragraphs largely develop the same supportive position. Use transitions that show contrast between the two views and make each paragraph’s central point more distinct.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “self-reliance,” “sense of belonging,” “interpersonal relationship” and “guided appropriately,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “result to them being selfish,” “develop a sense of reliance” where independence is intended, and “perceived been loved.” Spelling errors including “belonginging,” “paragraghs,” “logaical” and “comunicate” are noticeable. Some expressions are also repetitive, especially “make choices” and “decisions for themselves.” Aim for accurate collocations and vary repeated wording; proofreading spelling and choosing terms that express the intended meaning precisely would strengthen this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including subordinate clauses and examples introduced with “when” and “as.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some sentence structures are faulty or awkward. The opening sentence is overloaded and contains an unclear construction: “when children are allowed …, that it can result…” The phrase “a child … they instantly feel” shifts from singular to plural, and “when those choices do not come out good” has an inaccurate grammatical form. There are also issues with articles and sentence boundaries, as in “Take, for instance a child…” Add the comma after the introductory phrase, and revise long sentences into clearer units. More consistent control of agreement, clause structure and verb forms would make the complex attempts more effective.

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