Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people argue that giving youngsters their freedom to choose results in a more selfish society, others think that it is crucial for them to make their decisions. While controlling their behaviour would make them more acceptable by the society, I believe they should have the authority to choose for themselves in order to become their true version.

A society with a restrictive environment give rise to the youth that fits well with it. Youngsters are guided about what they need to eat, wear and do for their entertainment. This results in a very calm and peaceful community, because nothing disturbs them. For instance, Pustoon ethnicity has their own way of life. They wear kameez and shalwar with a duppata that their females put on their head. This dresscode is followed by the whole community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce both viewpoints and state a clear preference in the opening: children should have authority to choose so they can become their “true version.” However, the response addresses the task only minimally. The paragraph about restrictive upbringing explains how shared rules may create a calm community, but it does not clearly examine the concern that children allowed to choose will become selfish. Your own view is also not supported with reasons or examples, and the second viewpoint is not developed. The example about Pashtun clothing illustrates conformity, but its connection to children’s everyday decisions and the question of selfishness is unclear. The response is 135 words, 115 short of the required minimum. Develop both sides, explain your position, and support each main point with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introductory paragraph presents the issue and your position, followed by a paragraph about a restrictive society. The opening contrast, “Some people argue …, others think …,” helps signal the two views. However, there is no clear overall progression beyond this initial point: the response ends after one supporting example, leaving the discussion incomplete. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear, particularly the move from a “calm and peaceful community” to the example of Pashtun dress. The linking phrase “For instance” signals an example, but the example does not clearly support the point about children’s choices. Use separate paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and make each example’s relevance explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “restrictive environment,” “community,” “authority,” and “entertainment,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common or precise expressions, such as “fits well with it” and “true version,” though these are not natural or exact in context. Some word choices and collocations reduce precision: “make their freedom to choose” is not used, but “giving youngsters their freedom to choose” is less natural than “allowing children to make choices”; “acceptable by the society” is awkward; and “dresscode” is better written as two words. The range is limited partly because the response is brief and repeats the topic’s basic ideas. Aim for accurate collocations and vocabulary that directly expresses concepts such as independence, self-centredness, and parental guidance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the opening contrast and the causal sentence beginning “This results in…”. Most sentences communicate their basic meaning, but errors in agreement and sentence construction remain. For example, “A society with a restrictive environment give rise” has a singular subject, so the verb should be “gives rise”; “their females put on their head” also has unclear agreement and reference. The first sentence joins two independent clauses with only a comma, so it needs a conjunction or stronger punctuation. “While controlling their behaviour would make them more acceptable by the society” is also awkwardly structured, making the relationship between the ideas less clear. Check subject–verb agreement, clause boundaries, and pronoun references, while continuing to practise complex sentences.

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