Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals are of the opinion that if children start taking choices for their own way of living will result in a society based on idividualism, whereas other opine that it is beneficial for them to take decisions by their own that effect them. This essay will argue on both view, though my stance align with the later view.

On the one hand, some people believe that if kids start taking decisions on things such as food, clothes and entertainment, it will grow them as selfish and mannarless, additionally, their parents will loose control over them and that will lead them to have bad companies in the long run. In other words, parents should control their young one and inforce their choice because it is not possible for them to choose the right thing for them and no controlling will lead the children to become more separated from their parents and society. For example, the children born with the family oriented culture eventually become a social person than becoming a individual who do not respect others value.

On the other hand, there is believe in people that it is necessary for children to take decisions because it will make them self aware and independent as a person. Ability of taking decisions will help children in the long run because of their training for problem solving because taking decisions in that age is crucial to solve unknown problem solving.

In my opinion, giving the chance to children of making decisions of their life will help them to become a better skillful person and an asset of the society as well as country.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that though, giving chance to take decisions in childhood can lead the society to be the society of indivisualas, it is crutial for them to learn how to take their own decisions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both perspectives and state a clear preference for children making decisions, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. The discussion of parental control includes relevant consequences, such as children becoming selfish or losing connection with their parents, while the opposing view mentions independence and problem-solving. However, these ideas are not developed evenly: the case for children’s decision-making is brief and lacks a concrete example or explanation of how everyday choices build responsibility. Some claims, such as family-oriented children becoming more social, are difficult to follow and are not clearly linked to the question. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and risks with specific examples, and clarify whether children should make choices independently or with appropriate parental guidance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting opposing views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the overall direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from parental control to “bad companies” and then to family-oriented culture without making the links between these points explicit. The separate opinion paragraph also repeats the benefit of decision-making rather than extending the previous discussion. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting point to the main claim; more precise referencing would also help readers understand what “that age” and “their” refer to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “individualism,” “self-aware,” “independent,” and “problem solving,” and you use some less common expressions such as “an asset of the society.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “take decisions” and “children,” and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts difficult to interpret. Examples include “mannarless,” “bad companies,” and “family oriented culture”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally or precisely. “Individualism” is also used where the essay seems to mean selfishness, which is a more specific concern. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for autonomy, responsibility, and parental guidance, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional clauses such as “if children start taking decisions…” and a contrast structure beginning “though.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “This essay will argue on both view” has an incomplete grammatical pattern, while “my stance align” and “it will grow them” show problems with agreement and verb choice within the sentence structure. The long sentence beginning “In other words” also combines several ideas without clear grammatical control. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check that subjects and verbs agree.

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