Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most individual says that granting children to take their own decisions on daily matters as for food, clothes and entertainment. Which result in a society of masses who only think about their self wishes . Whereas, most of them believe that it is necessary for youngsters to make decisions about what affect them. The reason behind both the views shall be discussed in upcoming paragraph along with my opinion in conclusion.

Commencing with the reason that favor the former view is that many people argue that giving opportunity to youngsters to choose the right decision , what to eat , what to wear and what to buy is good for them. However, by allowing them to make their own choices assist them to be self dependent rather their than depending on others. For example, today children are more concern about their choices then their parents, they make their own decisions. Therefore, it more important to choose their choices that makes them happy and result in a society welfare.

Moving towards the reason that support the later view is that few of them believe that children should make decisions which affect them rather than affecting society. Moreover, making decisions on future can affect their life. For instance, today children are concerning about their future and making resolution about finding a job, about continuing their study then making choice on food or clothes.

To conclude, although both the opinion have their justified reason However, I believe that making decision about matters is more necessary for youngsters than choosing everyday matters which does not affect them all.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding why children should make their own choices are somewhat repetitive and lack depth, while the second paragraph is confusing, as it seems to conflate 'everyday matters' with 'future decisions' without clearly distinguishing the two sides of the debate. The position is stated but lacks the nuanced support required for a higher band. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-explained argument with concrete examples that directly relate to the prompt's specific categories of food, clothes, and entertainment.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While cohesive devices like 'Commencing with', 'Moving towards', and 'To conclude' are used, they are often applied mechanically or inappropriately. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought. For instance, the transition between the two viewpoints is abrupt, and the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary flow to connect ideas smoothly. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey ideas with precision. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'society of masses', 'self wishes', and 'society welfare'. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to use more sophisticated or academic language effectively. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms. For example, instead of 'make decisions', you could use 'exercise autonomy' or 'take initiative'. Expanding your range of vocabulary and ensuring words are used in their correct context is essential for improvement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Most individual says'), sentence fragments (e.g., 'Which result in...'), and incorrect preposition usage. The range of structures is limited, with a heavy reliance on simple sentences. Complex structures are attempted but are often marred by errors, such as 'rather their than depending on others'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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