Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the contemporary era, everyone needs freedom and wants to make their own choices. Some people believe that it is important for children to make their own choices on everyday matters which result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. This essay intends to discuss my perspective along with suitable arguments in the subsequent paragraphs.

I firmly believe that children below 18 should have choices and moreover they should be independent among themselves. Apart from this, parents should give their child freedom which will result in betterment of their knowledge and they will enhance skills. Furthermore, choices of entertainment like games, fashion will increase their knowledge about that activity as well as children will more focus on their hobbies while feeling freely.

Additionally, parents who make choices for their kids are making them lazy and boring which will have detrimental effect on their health. A survey conducted by a prestigious newspaper of Britain shows that children who make their own choices have a greater and successful future compared to those who are dependent on their parents.

However, it is believed that children under the age of 18 should be dependent on their parents as parents will give perfect advice which will be suitable for their child. Also, children make mistakes by making their own choices.

Different people have different opinion about the statement but I have sound reasons to advocate that people should be relaxed and not be pressurised by dependent fully on parents. Overall, in my opinion parents and children should make choices both together.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, including both viewpoints and a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that parental control makes children 'lazy and boring' is a strong claim that lacks sufficient explanation or logical connection. The mention of a 'survey' is a good attempt at providing evidence, but it is vague. To improve, you should expand on your reasoning with more specific examples or deeper analysis of why autonomy is beneficial or detrimental, rather than relying on general assertions. Your position is clear, but the supporting arguments need more depth to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', and 'However' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. The transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better connect the benefits of autonomy with the potential drawbacks. Additionally, some sentences within paragraphs feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'detrimental effect' and 'contemporary era'. However, there is a reliance on simpler, repetitive language, such as 'choices', 'make', and 'knowledge'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'make choices', you could use 'exercise autonomy', 'make informed decisions', or 'take responsibility for personal preferences'. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you express your ideas with more nuance and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'independent among themselves' (which is awkward phrasing) and 'pressurised by dependent fully on parents'. There are also minor issues with article usage and preposition choice. To reach a higher band, focus on increasing the accuracy of your complex sentences and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Proofreading for small errors like these will help demonstrate better control over your grammar, as the current frequency of errors occasionally distracts from the sophistication of your arguments.

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