Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

according to the believe of some people that children should not be allowed to make their own choices is right in some manner because if the children are given to follow their own choices it will result that they may be going in the opposite to the society norms and make there own individual choices which can affect the upbringing of society and the rules and regulations meant to keep the harmony and peace in society to break apart . the children also should not be fully allowed to choice there entertainment . in todays world there are various entertainment sources which are not always good for the mental development of a child . in fact the children can be exposed to the stuff which is very harmful for the society such as the movies which are adult movies the movies which are based on the crime so it is most important to keep the entertainment source regulated. the new generation do not like healthy food there are more prone to eat junk food so the right to stop them from eating junk food and affect5ing there health is very important

and as acoori8ng to the believes of some people the children should be given the right to make the decisions on the matters that affect them but they should not to against the individuals society or race the rules are there to make people live in harmony and being the full of a well valued human beings . this generation do not like to follow the rules and they always try to run against the rules so a need of maintaining the right decisions is necessary

the reason for my views on this aspect give a clear view that giving right to choices is important being in rules and norms of the society is mostly important . as if the people living in a society with peace ,love and harmony this needs to be considered . the fun fact about going against the society is that in previous times there are a lot examples of revolutionary who went against the society

to make good changes and they have set a example of the change they brought up in many societies .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'society norms' is mentioned multiple times without being fully explored or supported with clear, logical examples. The conclusion is somewhat vague and fails to synthesize the arguments effectively. While the prompt is addressed, the depth of analysis is insufficient for a higher band, as the ideas remain at a surface level and lack the necessary extension required for a more sophisticated discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay lacks a clear structure. Paragraphing is inconsistent, and the flow between ideas is often disjointed. There is a lack of cohesive devices; the text relies on simple sentence connections rather than logical transitions. For example, the transition between the discussion of entertainment and the discussion of food is abrupt. Furthermore, the use of referencing is weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the argument. To improve, you should use linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'on the other hand' to connect your ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', and 'rules'. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'believe of some people' instead of 'belief held by some people' and 'run against the rules' instead of 'defy rules'. Spelling errors are frequent, such as 'acoori8ng' and 'affect5ing', which distract the reader. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the range of vocabulary is not sufficient to demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on precise collocations is essential.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede readability. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the new generation do not like'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, making the text feel fragmented. Complex sentence structures are rarely attempted, and when they are, they often contain errors that distort the intended meaning. For example, 'the reason for my views on this aspect give a clear view' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. A focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors is necessary.

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