Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In mordern society, a certain set of people believe the kids or teenagers should be given freedom to make their own decision in their life. However, there is a set of other individuals who oppose the ideology. Although I agree that young people should be allowed to make their own choices. The essay will argue about both ideas.

To commence with, a group of people who believe that why youngsters should make their own life decisions is because it makes them independent. People who start taking their own decisions from an early age often do not struggle in life when it present itself in tough form, those people are able to take mature decision in comparison to people who never made their own choices when they were young. Moving further, the other reason is it makes any human a better individual. I while making own choices it is pre understood that any child should make mistakes and the lessons from those mistakes would shape them to withstand life. For instance,

On the other hand, there is a group of society individuals believing the complete opposite because kids might become self-caring and neglecting others. When children are young and are provided with unlimited freedom they might not develop the feeling of care, respect and love for other people. So it becomes the responsibility of elder people to share their experience and guide them appropriately. Another reason might be that youngsters might misuse the freedom which had been offered to them. With unquestioned freedom comes emaculate responsibility, which they might break. For instance, parents might give their child money to have lunch in school cafeteria but the young one might bunk the school instead to watch a movie with his friends. This is why unblind trust of parents might be hijacked.

To summarise , there are two different thinking of world about giving children right to make their own choices. I do believe that a partial freedom should be handed into kids. However, it is responsibility of both children and parents to look after that freedom is not been missed in any posble manner.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.5
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph is incomplete, ending abruptly with 'For instance,' without providing an example. This lack of development limits the score. While the position is clear throughout, the arguments regarding the negative aspects of freedom are more fully explored than the benefits. To improve, ensure that every point made is supported by a complete, relevant example or explanation to fully satisfy the requirements of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with,' 'Moving further,' and 'On the other hand' are used to signal shifts in the argument. However, the referencing is occasionally mechanical, and the abrupt ending of the first body paragraph disrupts the flow. The use of linking words is generally effective, but the essay would benefit from a more sophisticated range of cohesive devices to connect sentences within paragraphs more fluidly rather than relying on standard transition phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'ideology' and 'hijacked,' though some word choices are slightly unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'self-caring' (likely meaning 'self-centered') and 'emaculate' (spelling error for 'immaculate'). Spelling errors like 'mordern' and 'posble' occur, but they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on more precise word choices and ensure correct spelling of academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'there is a set of other individuals who oppose'), article misuse, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'there are two different thinking of world'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some sentence fragments and run-on sentences. The errors do not significantly impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors would be beneficial.

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