Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It depends on the parents whether they have to give opportunity to their children about making discission of their own choice or teach them to make importance discission for they life. Totally depends on parents. They know their child more than society or any other, so parents should have knowledge to what skills improve or teach about life. I agree with both discussion both have their own advantages or disadvantages.

On the one hand, if children make all discissions by their self, example food, clothes, and entertainment, so children wear whatever their own will, eat something junk food, which make them sick or unconfident. In additional, if they do whatever for entertainment it is very risky for their future, such as they bunk school and go for the movie, travel with friends and do addiction for joy. It became more dangerous for their future and health. Children do this kind of activity because they are not enough mature to make discissions for life. When children are became elder it is parents responsibility to take care of them.

On the other hand, i believe that parents should have to control them and teach boundaries what to do or not, teach which important discussion they have to made. Moreover, they have to encourage children. They have to give options what own choices they have to give, like about studies, dressing sense and daily schedule, also parents should support them. So children teach something and able to make discissions by own self.

In conclusion, both have their own prospective. Both are the right but parents should know what their children do and which kind of discussion they made by own way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, satisfying the requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the risks of children making choices (e.g., junk food, skipping school), the explanation remains quite general. To improve, you should provide more specific, illustrative examples or deeper reasoning to support your points. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the discussion is more characteristic of a Band 5.5 or 6.0 response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by repetitive phrasing and awkward transitions. For instance, the use of 'In additional' is incorrect, and some sentences feel disconnected from the previous ones. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the last would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and lacks precision. You frequently use the word 'discission' (a misspelling of 'decision') and 'make', which limits your range. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'do addiction for joy' and 'not enough mature', which slightly impede the natural flow of the text. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including collocations and less common words, while ensuring they are used accurately in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children are became elder'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'make importance discission'), and missing articles or prepositions. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization.

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