Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
A number of people believe that allows their children to make choices one regular matters is contribute to members of society that who exclusively care themselves rather than others. Other people assume that it is essential for kids to make resolutions about things that have significant influece to them, I believe that kids should be allowed to make decision on things that only affects them.
On the one hand, a cohort of society think that young people that allowed to make their own pick, might lead to becoming individuals who only mind their own goods. That is because, youngsters who are permitted to decide on everyday matters, tend to develop obedience, obstinancy and greed to take everything they wanted. For instance, youths that make their own choices, could develop awareness that everything should be however they want it to be. Consequently, they might become selfish and individualistic that only think aobut their own wish.
On the other hand, remaining segment of population holds the opposing idea that young people should render a decision on matters that have effect on them and it is very important. This is due to the fact that youngsters could grow to be self dependent and empathetic by only determining decisions that have impact on their life. For example, people who are independent and respected by others are often individuals who make
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion in the introduction. However, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly in the second body paragraph, which prevents the full development of the argument. Furthermore, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop ideas. While the position is clear, the lack of a conclusion and the unfinished final paragraph mean that the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you complete all sections of the essay and provide sufficient supporting evidence for your arguments to meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay uses basic paragraphing and some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'For instance'. However, the progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'remaining segment of population', which lacks an article. The logical flow is hindered by the abrupt ending, making the overall structure feel unfinished. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, completed logical structure that contributes to the overall argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'make their own pick' instead of 'make their own choices' and 'mind their own goods' instead of 'look after their own interests'. The range is somewhat limited, and the repetition of basic terms like 'youngsters' and 'matters' suggests a need for a broader range of synonyms. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and improving your grasp of collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'allows their children' instead of 'allowing', 'is contribute to' instead of 'contributes to', and 'who exclusively care themselves' instead of 'who exclusively care about themselves'. There is a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. Punctuation is also problematic, with some run-on sentences and missing articles. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles, and proofread your work to catch basic errors.
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