Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often debated that either children should have the freedom to make their own choices in daily life or it should be influenced by their elders. One opinion is that if children take their decisions unanimously the society will become more individual oriented. There are certain pros and cons to each of the aspect.

firstly, its really effects the personality of the children that who is making the basic decisions in their life. If they are making their own decision they feel freedom and that freedom give them confidence which is really a good quality to have in the up coming challenging life. In addition to that, it also develop their sense of choice and taste. for example if a child is making his own decisions he can express his feeling in term of colors food flavors etc. this will make him more expressive.

On the other hand, if children make their decisions on their own they may become self oriented, which leads the social imbalance in the society. For instance if a child has the freedom to take decisions he may care only about himself he may wish to have the society around him of his own choice in terms of food, color or other aspects of daily life and whenever he will have the authority he will try to turn the system to his favors which leads to increase the selfishness in the society.

In my opinion, I strongly recommend that everyone should have the freedom to take their decisions regardless of age gender or any other differences. This will help the society become more confident, expressive and competitive, which ultimately leads to progress and development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that allowing choices leads to confidence, the explanation of how this leads to a 'society of individuals who only think about their own wishes' is a bit simplistic and repetitive. The argument regarding 'social imbalance' is a good attempt at critical thinking, but it lacks specific, real-world examples to fully support the claim. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main point is supported by a more detailed explanation or a concrete example that illustrates the consequence clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition to that', 'On the other hand', and 'For instance'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the benefits of choice and the potential for selfishness. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences feel like a list of points rather than a cohesive argument. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'good quality', 'really effects', and 'make his own decisions'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'unanimously' (which is used incorrectly here) and 'social imbalance in the society' (which is slightly redundant). To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and less common vocabulary related to child development and societal structures to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'it’s really effects' (should be 'it really affects'), 'that who is making' (unnecessary 'that'), and 'whenever he will have the authority he will try to turn the system to his favors' (awkward phrasing and preposition error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization at the start of sentences. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure will help improve your accuracy.

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