Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A group of people believe that the access if given to children that they can make their own decision for themselves will create a mindsets of selfishness and not caring about the people in the surrounding. In contrary some people have a view that it is more important for children to think more on themselves rather than focusing on others.

The belief of people who think that children should not only think about their choices is correct as there will be no sense of sympathy for each other. People will not care about each others problems and there will be no one to share your problems. Moreover, this will also lead to increase in suicides as people will have no one to tell their problems and comfort them rather people will increase each others problems when thinking only for their benefit. I myself have witnessed a suicide in my neighbourhood. A young lady was in a relationship her boyfriend cheated on her for a rich lady and she had no one to support her and stop her from doing suicide as she was alone so she shot herself.

On the other hand it is also equally important to focus on oneself and think wisely on matters that affect you personally as one careless and wrong decision might take you for a life time regret. For example there was a boy in my class who always helped students with their homework but never did his exam preparations on time and got less grades than the students he had helped.

In conclusion I would like to say that a person should be modest and wise he should consider others situation as well and should not give priority to himself when someones life or career is in danger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The link between children making everyday choices and the extreme consequence of suicide is tenuous and lacks logical depth, making the argument feel forced rather than analytical. While the prompt asks for a discussion on 'everyday matters' like food and clothes, the essay shifts quickly into a discussion about general selfishness and mental health, which drifts slightly from the core focus of the task. To improve, ensure that the examples provided directly support the specific premise of the prompt rather than jumping to unrelated, extreme scenarios.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'In contrary' is an incorrect collocation, and the transition between the argument about selfishness and the personal anecdote about the lady is abrupt. The flow of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, and the referencing (e.g., 'this will also lead to increase') is occasionally vague. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'access if given to children' and 'create a mindsets of selfishness'. The word choice is often repetitive, and there is a lack of sophisticated collocations or less common lexical items. While the meaning is generally clear, the language does not demonstrate the flexibility needed to express complex ideas with nuance. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and refining your word choice will significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Issues include missing articles ('a life time regret'), incorrect verb forms ('doing suicide' instead of 'committing suicide'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('a group of people believe... will create a mindsets'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding comma usage. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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