Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that in this modern era giving a freedom to their children is become a pensive concern . In this regards some people believe that allowing children to make their own decision while other believe that it important for children to make decision about matters that affect them . this essay will outline not only both the perspectives but also the my opinion in first point of view which will outline in forthcoming coming fragment with logical conclusion .
to commence with there are several point in first point of view. Firstly it helps to increase the ability of problem solving . to explain it that younger get a decision according to their needs or abilities . Secondly increase the confidence . to justify it that when children have a freedom for their own choices then they will trust on their choices for example if children have a freedom about their choices they will choice their carrier o
however their are few drawbacks of of this statement are first and foremost are bad health conditions to clarify it that if children freedom about their choices then they always choice junk food which ids bad for their health second they will wear only culture clothes which may cause lose their culture .
In conclusion their are few point for later point such bad health conditions but the importance of former point can never be neglected at any cost
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While both sides of the argument are mentioned, the discussion is superficial and lacks the depth required for a higher band. The position is not clearly stated or maintained throughout the essay. The arguments provided, such as 'bad health conditions' or 'problem solving', are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting examples or logical expansion. To improve, you must ensure you meet the word count and provide more detailed, well-reasoned arguments for each perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow is disjointed. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as 'In this regards' and 'to commence with', which are often used mechanically. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the sentences lack logical connection. The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively summarize the main points or clearly state your own opinion as requested by the prompt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would greatly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic words like 'choices', 'decisions', and 'freedom'. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'pensive concern' (which does not fit the context) and 'culture clothes'. Spelling errors, such as 'ids' instead of 'is' and 'carrier' instead of 'career', also detract from the quality of the response. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure that your word choices are precise and appropriate for an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'giving a freedom... is become'), missing articles, and awkward sentence structures. The range of grammatical structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors in punctuation and word order. For example, 'this essay will outline not only both the perspectives but also the my opinion' is grammatically incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing verbs or incorrect tense usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.