Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that in this modern era making own choices is a very important aspect . In this regard, few people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, attire and entertainment will result into selfishness while others believe that it is important for children to make their own life choices. This essay will outline not only the both perspectives but also my opinion which is in favour of former point of view in forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.
To commence with, those who believe that children should not make their own decisions have their own reasons. The prime one is that, it will lead to many unhealthy choices in food which may affect their health in a bad way. To explain it, children will eat ready to eat and fast food more which is not convinient in long term. secondly, making decisions by younger ones will make their behaviour aggressive.
However, it is important for children tp male their own decisions. First and foremost is that, it boosts the confidence of children. To justify it, it improves their communication skills and they get to better of surroundings. In this way youngsters can live more independently.
To conclude, although there are many reasons that children should take their own decisions such as boosts confidence yet the drawbacks such as unhealthy choices and selfishness in behavior cannot be neglected at any cost.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both perspectives, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting examples. For instance, the point about 'unhealthy choices' is mentioned but not expanded upon with a concrete example. Furthermore, your stated position in the introduction—that you favor the 'former' point of view (that children should not make choices)—is contradicted by your conclusion, which seems to weigh both sides equally. To improve, ensure you provide detailed explanations for each point and maintain a consistent, clear position throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'To explain it' or 'To justify it', which feel repetitive. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is functional, but the conclusion is weak and does not effectively synthesize the arguments presented. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall flow is hindered by the brevity of the paragraphs, which prevents a more sophisticated development of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'make their own choices' and 'important'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'forthcoming fragments' (which is not standard academic English) and 'get to better of surroundings'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise, academic vocabulary and demonstrate a better grasp of collocations and idiomatic expressions appropriate for an essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'making own choices is a very important aspect' (missing article), 'result into selfishness' (incorrect preposition), and 'tp male' (typo). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.