Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is undeniable that change in taste and preferences of children become a pensive concern in modern world. In this regards, some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes while others argue that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. This essay will outline not only the both perspectives but also my opinion which is in favor of former point of view in forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.
To commence with, there are several benefits of making choice on everyday matters for children. Firstly, taking decisions independently by students helps to boost their confidence level. To explain it, children who are dependent totally on their parents are not capable to buy commodities. Secondly, it directly impact the learning capacity of teenagers. To elaborate it, they learn who they are and also know about their responsibilities that helps to feel them to be mature. Moreover, making choices by own directly improve their problem-solving skills and can easily access in this modern economy without depending on others.
However, making decisions by children own might affect them. First and foremost reason is that today's generation love to eat high amount of fast food and also prefer to eat in restaurant have to pay large amount of bills and it also affect their health badly. To clarify it, make choice their own they prefer video games instead of outdoor games which cause several diseases. Furthermore, they prefer to wear western clothes which are uncomfortable while they didn't know about the traditional clothes and adopt western culture.
To conclude, there are several impacts on children when they make decisions their own such as poor health choices, cause diseases, prefer western culture yet according to me children ought to allow to make their own choices regarding everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding 'western clothes' is not clearly linked to the prompt's core concern about self-centeredness. Additionally, there is a contradiction in the conclusion: you state you are in favor of the 'former' point of view (that it leads to self-centered individuals), but your body paragraph on the benefits of choice suggests you see value in independence. The position needs to be more consistently argued and logically supported throughout the essay to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Firstly', 'However', and 'To conclude'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In this regards' or 'To elaborate it'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the benefits of independence and the drawbacks of self-centeredness could be smoother. Referencing is occasionally imprecise, which slightly affects the flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'make choices' and 'everyday matters'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'pensive concern' (which does not fit the context) and 'access in this modern economy'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions that would demonstrate a higher level of control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. Examples include 'change in taste... become a pensive concern' (subject-verb agreement), 'making choices by own' (incorrect preposition/pronoun usage), and 'children ought to allow to make' (passive voice error). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure often feels repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice constructions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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