Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that in today's world children freedom has become a debatable topic among people. In this regard some people believe that allowing freedom to young ones in everyday matters will result in selfish behavior while others argue that it will help them to make necessary decisions in their life. This essay will not only discuss both views but also my opinion which is in the favour of former point in forthcoming fragments with logical reasoning.

To begin with, there are endless facts that support the prime saying. First and foremost is the lack of maturity. To explain, it is a fact that children do not have much knowledge about right and wrong and they will lay toward the side which they feel benefits them but in reality it is not. For example, children will always prefer junk food over healthy vegetables which will affect their health in a very bad way. Secondly, choosing the right thing. To elaborate, youngsters are influenced by others which effects the way they dress and watch content. As a result they would watch the things that are not appropriate and dress like they should not.

However, there are few benefits of the latter point. Prime ones is that it will help children to make choices in the future instead of getting confused. For instance, a child who has done decision making in childhood will make more positive choices than the child who completely relied on parents.

In my opinion a balanced approach could be opted in this situation as children would make choices that they are sure about themselves and consult with their parents about the things that they are confused about but tilting more toward former point would be better option.

To conclude, although there are some benefits of the latter point of view but the merits of former point completely outweigh them due to more advantageous approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding children's lack of maturity is supported by the example of junk food, but the explanation of how this leads to a 'society of individuals who only think about their own wishes' remains underdeveloped. The connection between everyday choices and long-term societal impact is asserted rather than deeply explored. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced reasoning that directly links the specific examples (clothes, entertainment) to the broader societal consequences mentioned in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', 'However', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the phrase 'the prime saying', which does not clearly refer back to a specific concept. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific vocabulary like 'maturity', 'decision making', and 'merits'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'lay toward the side' (should be 'lean toward') and 'effects the way' (should be 'affects'). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'forthcoming fragments'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to convey your arguments with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'children freedom' instead of 'children's freedom') and subject-verb agreement. Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'Prime ones is that it will help', which should be 'The primary benefit is that it helps'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor slips throughout. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and attempt to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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