Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that change in taste and preferences of children has become a pensive concern in this modern era. In this regards, some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes others argue that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. This essay will outline not only the both perspectives but also my opinion which is in favor of former point of view in forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.

To commence with, there are several benefits of making choice on everyday matters for children. Firstly, the decision taking for their own interest in studies and streams matters the most. To explain it, many students take streams suggested by their parents, with no interest which make the children face problems in the future. Secondly, taking decision in the daily life boost up the confidence level of the students in communicating too. To elaborate, children who totally dependent on their parents and fellow beings are not capable of buying commodities in the market or are very shy to talk to others to buy or purchase products. Moreover, making choices by own directly improve their problem-solving skills and can easily access in this modern economy without being dependent on others.

However, making decisions by children and students own might affect them. First and foremost reason is that today's generation love to have high amount of fast food and also prefer to eat at expensive restaurants and pay a large amount of bills to satisfy themselves, this affect the child's health badly. To clarify it, making choice by their own have to suffer badly some of the times, now a days children often prefer playing indoor and not outdoors which may affect their health physically, socially and mentally. Furthermore, today's generation often prefer only western wears through which they are forgetting their cultural and traditional wears.

To conclude, there are several impacts on children when they make their own decisions wrongly. Yet according to me children must be allowed to make their own decisions while, not those decisions which may suffer them in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits of decision-making are discussed, the arguments regarding the negative consequences are slightly repetitive and lack depth. The introduction is a bit confusing, as it states the author is in favor of the 'former' point of view (that children becoming selfish is a concern), but the conclusion suggests a more balanced approach. To reach a higher band, ensure that the position is consistent throughout and that each supporting point is fully explored with more specific, logical reasoning rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Firstly', and 'However', but some transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In this regards' and 'in forthcoming fragments'. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the introduction where the reference to 'former' and 'latter' points of view is slightly muddled. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'pensive concern' (which does not fit the context), 'making choice by their own', and 'western wears'. While the student attempts to use a range of vocabulary, the collocations are often non-standard. To improve, focus on learning natural word combinations and using more academic, precise terminology to express complex ideas, rather than relying on repetitive or slightly inaccurate phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('many students take streams... which make the children face problems'), article usage, and pluralization ('western wears', 'making choice by their own'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences that lack proper coordination. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of the writing.

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