Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that children's over-freedom has become a pensive concern in this era of globalization. In this regards, some people believe that providing freedom to children in everyday decisions will affect their behavior and while others argues that it is necessary make decisions about matters playing a great role in their life. This essay will discuss not only both views but also my opinion which is in favour of former point of view in forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.
To commence with, there are several negative outcomes of former point of view. The prime one is that, lack of maturity. To explain it, students are very young at that age to take their decisions at their own because they will not take care of their health and eat fast food only because of it's taste and also influenced by wrong people and can take the decisions which can rune their whole life. For example, today many children take drugs in younger ages only due to to wrong influence. Secondly, wrong decisions for their life, To elaborate it, most of the children take wrong decisions by coming in influence of their friends while choosing their courses which cannot be changed further in their life. It can make them stand in very difficult situations which they cannot come out later.
Nevertheless, despite having drawbacks of this notion there are also few benefits. First and foremost is that, improve decision making. To clarify it, younger will take decisions in their early life which will help them in decision making in future and can be more understand also develops their mind in such a way that they do not get fear in difficult situations. As a result, they perform very well in in the situations others fail.
To conclude, there are few benefits of later statement such as Improve decision making. Yet in my opinion it can lead to through children in a difficult situations
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both views and provides an opinion, though the development is uneven. The arguments regarding the dangers of excessive freedom are clearer than the counter-arguments. The conclusion is underdeveloped and fails to fully synthesize the discussion or clearly restate the position. The phrase 'pensive concern' is misused, and the essay struggles to maintain a consistent academic tone. While all parts of the prompt are addressed, the ideas lack the depth required for a higher band, as the reasoning often relies on generalizations rather than well-supported examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, 'To commence with' and 'To elaborate it' are used in a formulaic manner. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the reference to 'later statement' is ambiguous. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, they are often used inaccurately or repetitively, which hinders the flow of ideas. The conclusion is abrupt and does not effectively summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and contains several instances of inappropriate word choice. For example, 'pensive concern' is used incorrectly to mean a serious issue, and 'rune' is a misspelling of 'ruin'. There is also a reliance on basic vocabulary, such as 'wrong' and 'good', which limits the precision of the argument. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and the frequent errors in collocation and word formation prevent the response from reaching a higher band. More precise academic terminology is needed to express complex ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the complex ones are frequently marred by grammatical errors. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositional phrases (e.g., 'in younger ages', 'coming in influence of'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency is high enough to distract the reader and indicate a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms. The sentence structure is often repetitive, relying on similar patterns throughout the text.
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