Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that the choosing everyday matters by children is the most challenging thought of this era. In this regard few people believes that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their wishes. This essay will outline not only the both views but also my opinion which is in the favor of latter point of view in the forthcoming fragments with the logical conclusion
To commence with,those who believe that children have to choose by their own have their own reasons. The prime one is that the confidence level become arise. To explain it, the totally dependent child cannot be confident for exploring the world as they become shy and cannot able to perform by their own mind.
However,there are several points in the favor of latter point of view.First and foremost is that the decision by children by emotions can effect. To justify it the children who choose the matters with their own mindset can leads to emotionally which results in the future distraction by choosing wrong path no experience. To write more, the preference to video games,cartoons and movies for the entertainment which can effect the time schedule as children may use it in maximum amount.Moreover, the preference to junk or fast food by the children. To clarify it the children likes to eat fast food which can effect their entire diet plan and results in harmful diseases.
To conclude, while few people believes that allowing children to make their own decisions may encourage bad habits but the drawbacks of this statement cannot be neglected at any cost.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the first body paragraph attempts to explain the benefits of autonomy, the second paragraph is confusing and fails to clearly articulate the drawbacks of children making decisions. The arguments regarding 'emotional' decision-making and 'future distraction' are underdeveloped and lack logical clarity. Furthermore, the conclusion contradicts the essay's stated position by suggesting the drawbacks cannot be neglected, which creates confusion regarding your final stance. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and fully explained supporting examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is often hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with' and 'However', they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second body paragraph where the connection between 'decision by children' and 'future distraction' is difficult to follow. The conclusion is also abrupt and does not effectively summarise the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence flows logically from the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'choosing everyday matters' instead of 'making everyday choices', and 'confidence level become arise' which is non-standard. The phrase 'forthcoming fragments' is an unnatural way to refer to the essay structure. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent the essay from achieving a higher score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations and synonyms would significantly improve the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'few people believes' and 'children likes'. Sentence structures are often simplistic or contain errors, such as 'cannot able to perform' and 'can leads to emotionally'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are frequently faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. Focusing on basic sentence construction, correct verb forms, and proofreading for punctuation errors will help improve your grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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