Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that in this modern era giving freedom to their children has become a significant concern . In this regard some people believe that allowing children to make their own decisions . While other believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matter that affect . This essay will outline not only both perspectives but also my opinion in first point of view which will be outlined in forthcoming fragment with logical conclusion .
To commence with there are several points in first point of view . Firstly it helps to increase the ability of problem solving . To explain this youngsters get a decision according to their needs or abilities . Secondly it increase the confidence . To justify this when children have a freedom to their own choices than they will trust on their choices for example if childrens have a freedom about their choices they will choose their career .
However there are few drawbacks of this statement . First and foremost are bad health conditions . To clarify it that if childrens have freedom about their choices then they always choose junk food which is bad for their health . Second they will wear only the western cultural clothes which may cause them to lose their culture.
In conclusion there are few points for later point such as bad health conditions but the importance of former point can never be neglected at any cost .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument but fails to fully develop the ideas, remaining quite superficial. The introduction is incomplete, as the sentences are fragmented and lack clear meaning. Furthermore, the essay is under the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the depth of the discussion. While a position is stated, the arguments regarding health and culture are somewhat simplistic and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. To improve, ensure all sentences are complete and provide more detailed explanations for your points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and incomplete sentences. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly' and 'However', but they are sometimes used mechanically. The introduction is particularly problematic, as it contains fragmented sentences that make it difficult to follow the writer's intent. The progression of ideas is present but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band. Improving the transition between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Words like 'choices', 'decisions', and 'freedom' are used frequently without much variation. There are also issues with word formation and collocation, such as 'trust on their choices' (should be 'trust their choices') and 'bad health conditions' (which is slightly unnatural in this context). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility needed for a higher score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and synonyms would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including missing words, incorrect verb forms, and sentence fragments. For example, 'While other believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matter that affect' is an incomplete sentence. There are also issues with pluralization, such as 'childrens' (which is incorrect; the plural of child is children). While some simple sentences are error-free, the attempt at more complex structures often leads to errors that can occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Focusing on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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