Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The growing influence of high-speed railway lines in modern society has sparked various debates. This issue is particularly significant because its impact affects both individuals and communities in multiple ways. Some people believe that it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities, while others argue that the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.

On the one hand, supporters of constructing high-speed railway lines believe that it promotes innovation, creativity, and access to a wide range of opportunities. This is also evident from the fact that it helps in improving understanding, tolerance, and problem-solving methods in society.

On the other hand, supporters of improving existing public transport argue that it contributes to individual development and collective progress. I believe this view is more beneficial because it provides greater long-term advantages.

In conclusion, both views have their own merits. However, I believe that improving existing public transport is the better approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response is significantly off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on whether children should be allowed to make their own choices regarding everyday matters like food and clothing. However, your essay discusses high-speed railway lines and public transport. Because you have addressed a completely different topic, the response fails to meet the requirements of the task. Furthermore, the essay is only 176 words, which is well below the 250-word minimum requirement. This lack of relevant content and insufficient length severely impacts your score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is structured with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a basic logical framework. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, because the content is entirely irrelevant to the prompt, the progression of ideas is disconnected from the task requirements. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of development within the paragraphs makes the overall coherence weak.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally accurate and appropriate for an academic context, such as 'promotes innovation', 'collective progress', and 'long-term advantages'. However, because the vocabulary is applied to a topic that is not the one requested, it does not demonstrate the ability to discuss the specific subject matter of the prompt. The range is somewhat limited due to the brevity of the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The grammar is generally sound, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are few grammatical errors, and the sentences are clear and easy to follow. You demonstrate a reasonable level of control over sentence construction. However, the limited length of the essay restricts your ability to demonstrate a wider range of complex structures, which is necessary for higher band scores.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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