Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some argues that parents who are allowing their toddlers to make own choices on daily routine such as food, clothes and entertainment, resulting them to become a person who only think about their own wishes. Others believe that it is necessary for children to make choices. Although children may get a bad habit. I believe that parents should allow their kids to make own decisions because it makes children independent.
By allowing children to make their own choices may they would get a bad habit. That is to say, parents who are giving permissions to their children to make decisions, then toddler would tend to prefer a choice who makes them in a convenient zone. As a result, children become lazy and un-active person. For example, many children prefer to play video game at home instead of playing out-door games. However, I believe that allowing kids to make choices is beneficial because it makes them independent.
the toddlers who are making decisions they would understand how to become a independent person. this is because, children would understand what is wrong or right by doing the mistakes and then correcting them. it increases the maturity of children. for instance, a children would understand which sports is good and they would le
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both sides of the argument and state a clear position, the discussion is underdeveloped. The points regarding independence and maturity are introduced but lack sufficient explanation or illustrative examples to fully explore the topic. Furthermore, the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence, meaning the conclusion is missing. To improve, ensure you expand on your arguments with more depth and complete your thoughts to fully address all parts of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay shows some attempt at logical organization, with separate paragraphs for different viewpoints. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'By allowing', 'That is to say', and 'For example', but they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a concluding paragraph makes the overall structure feel unfinished. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, fully developed topic sentence followed by supporting details.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'make their own choices' and 'make decisions'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'un-active person' instead of 'inactive' or 'sedentary', and 'convenient zone' instead of 'comfort zone'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and express your ideas with greater nuance and sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Some argues', 'a children'), article usage ('a independent person'), and sentence structure ('By allowing children to make their own choices may they would get a bad habit'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple or slightly complex sentences with errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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