Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The growing influence of food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result has sparked various debates. This issue is particularly significant because its impact affects both individuals and communities in multiple ways. in this essay, I will discuss the positive and negative aspects of and give my opinion.

On the one hand, supporters of allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters and family and clothes very matter children personality. The food matter health care very very important, that it promotes innovation, creativity and access to a wide range of opportunities. This is also evident development and collective progress. improving understanding, tolerance, and problem-solving method in society.

On the other hand, supporters for children to make decisions about matter on mother and father. The children are choose fast food, expensive clothes or video game instead of health food and useful activities. The need children parents, fastfood not allow in home and no effect health care. for example, children choise brand clothes and other.

children favourite clothe famous and choise home eat are not allow fast or other foods. in a conclusion, both views have their own merits. However, I believe that children limited freedom to while parents is the better better approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 204 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address both views and provide an opinion, the arguments are underdeveloped and often unclear. For instance, the discussion on the benefits of choice is fragmented, and the counter-argument regarding parental control lacks logical structure and specific examples. The position is stated in the conclusion but is not consistently maintained or supported throughout the body paragraphs. Due to the lack of length and the superficial treatment of the prompt, the response does not fully address the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. There is a lack of logical progression between sentences, making it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought. Cohesive devices are either absent or misused, such as the abrupt transition in the second paragraph. Referencing is often unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the connection between 'food matter' and 'innovation' is not established. The conclusion is also disjointed from the preceding arguments. Overall, the lack of clear logical flow and the ineffective use of linking words hinder the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey complex ideas. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'food matter health care' and 'children favourite clothe famous'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient for an academic task, relying on basic terms that do not allow for precise expression. Many phrases are grammatically incorrect or nonsensical, which impedes the reader's understanding. To improve, the student needs to focus on learning collocations and using a wider variety of topic-specific vocabulary related to child development and parenting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. Sentence structures are predominantly simple and often incomplete or fragmented, such as 'The need children parents, fastfood not allow in home'. There is a lack of control over basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement, article usage, and word order. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are consistently inaccurate, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, further complicating the readability of the text. Significant improvement in basic sentence construction and grammatical accuracy is required to reach a higher band score.

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