Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
There has been a debate about the impact of allowing children make decisions that concerns them. Some argue that it could lead to a society where people become self-centered, while others maintain that it is vatail for children to make decisions on issues that affects them. In my opinion, there should be a balance between the two views as it is important for the child's development. This essay will discuss both views and explain my opinion.
On the one hand, allowing children to make decisions on matters that concerns them could result in individual who only thinks of themselves. This is because when children are always allowed to decide what they want to eat or wear, they will only make decisions that will benefit them not minding how the decision implication of their decision on others. For example, the Yorubas in Nigeria, do not allow their children decide on any matter concerning them, they are treated by their parents alone. However, one might say getting children to contribute to matter that involves them enhances logical thinking, but the detrimental effects outweigh it benefits.
On the other hand, allowing children to decide on what they want to wear or eat creates a sense of responsibility. This is simply the ability to perform a task without the help of the parents, making decisions that matters to them without the assistance of their parents. For instance, in Lagos state Nigeria parent do not have time for their children because of busy schedules, decisions are made mostly by the children before their parents gets back from work.
In conclusion, while allowing children to make decisions for themselves will result to self-centered individuals, and leaving the children to
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, though the conclusion is incomplete, which impacts the overall development of the response. The ideas presented are relevant, such as the mention of cultural practices in Nigeria and the development of responsibility. However, the arguments are somewhat underdeveloped; for instance, the example regarding Yoruba culture is not fully explained in relation to the prompt's core question about self-centeredness. To improve, ensure that each paragraph fully explores the implications of the chosen viewpoint and provides a complete, well-rounded conclusion that synthesizes the arguments presented.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal the structure. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present, but the abrupt ending of the essay significantly affects the overall coherence. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next, avoiding repetitive sentence structures and ensuring the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express basic ideas. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'detrimental' and 'logical thinking'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'vatail' (likely meant 'vital') and 'decision implication of their decision'. These errors do not completely impede communication but do limit the precision of the argument. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations and checking for spelling accuracy will help improve this score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children make decisions that concerns them') and article usage. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the general meaning, they are frequent enough to be distracting. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will also be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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