Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices everyday matters for instance such as food, clothes and entertainment which is more likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about thier own wishes . Whereas other people believe tht it is important for children to make decisions about the matters that will affect them.
To begin with, would like to give my opinion here by mentioning that some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters for instance such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. While other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Is like a hard nut crack for some and a piece of cake for some as far as i am concerned, it is absolutely benefical and helpful for a lot of people, I have witnessed and seen many people who have drawn monumental benefits in many situations like this but i totally agree with concept and firmly believe in this and also should have other people to think is right do the same.
Moving forward, I would like to give an example here that nowadays gen-z generation chooses their own decision for instance such as food, clothes and entertainment.
In conclusion , I would like to conclude here by mentioning that I totally agreed with the concept and firmly believe in this.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the prompt adequately. While it acknowledges the two opposing views, it does not provide a balanced discussion or meaningful arguments. Instead, the essay relies on repetitive phrasing, restating the prompt multiple times rather than developing ideas. The 'opinion' provided is vague and lacks supporting evidence or logical reasoning. The example regarding 'gen-z' is underdeveloped and does not explain how or why their decision-making impacts society. To improve, you must provide distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint, followed by a clear, well-reasoned personal opinion supported by specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks logical progression. The structure is repetitive, with the introduction and body paragraphs essentially repeating the same sentences. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the awkward transition 'Is like a hard nut crack for some'. Paragraphing is present but ineffective because the content within the paragraphs does not flow logically. The conclusion is also redundant, merely restating the writer's agreement without summarizing the main points. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences and linking words that connect ideas rather than repeating them.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on phrases copied directly from the prompt (e.g., 'food, clothes and entertainment'). There is an attempt to use idiomatic language ('hard nut to crack', 'piece of cake'), but these are used incorrectly in context and feel forced. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas, and there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'thier' and 'benefical'. To improve, expand your vocabulary to include synonyms and topic-specific terminology, and ensure you use idioms only when they fit naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments and run-on sentences (e.g., 'Whereas other people believe tht it is important...'). Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and there are missing articles and prepositions throughout the text. The use of complex structures is limited and often results in errors that obscure the intended meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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