Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
SOME INDIVIDUAL THOUGHTS THAT BY GIVING FREEDOMS TO KIDS TO TAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS ON WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DO ON DAILY BASIS MEANS NO ANY RESTRICTION ABOUT THEIR STUDY, PLAYING AND FOOD ARE MAKING THEM A SELFISH WHICH ARE LIVING ONLY FOR FULFILL THEIR OWN NEEDS , WHEREAS SOME BELIEVES THAT CHILDREN HAVE ALLOWED ONLY THOSE CHOICES WHICH ARE MORE AFFECTING IT PERSONALLY. THIS ESSAY WILL ELABORATE BOTH THE VIEWS WITH MY OWN OPINION IN FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS.
TO COMMENCE WITH, ACCORDING TO SOME PEOPLE WHILE NO ANY RESTRICTION ON CHOICES CAN MAKE CHILDS TO SELF CONCERNED IN FUTURE BECAUSE BEFORE THAT AGE THEY GOT ALL THE THINGS AND NO FACE ANY INTERFERENCE ON DOING STUDY OR ENTERTAINMENT SO THEY NOT THINKS ABOUT THEIR PARENTS THINKS AND FINANCIAL CONDITIONS BY THEIR STUBBORNNESS . MOREOVER IT CAN LEAD TO MISUNDERSTANDING IN CHILD-PARENT RELATION AND CREATES BOUNDARIES OR FIGHTING. FOR INSTANCE, CHILD WHO GET ALL OF WHATEVER THEY WANT IN
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address both views, the arguments are underdeveloped and the response is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence. The position is stated in the introduction, but the lack of sufficient length and the failure to complete the task prevents a higher score. To improve, you must ensure you provide a full, balanced discussion with clear supporting examples and a conclusion, ensuring you meet the word count requirement to allow for full development of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses some basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with' and 'Moreover' to signal the structure. However, the logical flow is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is attempted, but the abrupt ending makes it difficult to assess the overall progression of ideas. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'before that age they got all the things', which lacks a clear antecedent. To improve, focus on completing your thoughts and using a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'no any restriction' instead of 'no restrictions' and 'self concerned' instead of 'self-centered'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. To improve, try to learn collocations in context and avoid translating directly from your native language. Focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe the concepts of child development and parental influence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('some believes' instead of 'some believe'), incorrect article usage ('a selfish' instead of 'selfish individuals'), and awkward sentence structures ('no face any interference'). The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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