Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today's world, allowing children to make their own choices on food and clothes and entertainment is only lead self-centered society. other individuals believe that it is essential for children how to make decision independently.
On the one hand, allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food , clothes and entertainment . It makes children selfish because they only short terms wants. They not think about other family members , so that why some times they cross their boundaries . Additionally they need to learn family and community rules that also matter in society. In other words , when they make their own choices then they think about their own choices so they choose junk food and not sleep well used internet every time and harm their well- being because of poor health. For example, if people make their own decisions then they think they are the boss of their family sometimes they not think about what is right or wrong for their life, they just do it .As a result , it put negative impact on children well-being.
On the other hand, giving freedom to children to choose their own decisions independently. It built their confidence and improve their critical thinking, in others words , they think how to solve problems and how to do things correctly. It also improve children emotional growth. For example, choosing decision according to their own wishes give confidence to children . As a result choosing decision according to own wishes give positive results.
In my opinion , both views are correct , but giving freedom to choose their own decision built confidence in the children, and they easily solved their problems.
In conclusion, , allowing children to make their own choices both have positive and negative impact some of children used their choices wisely, but some think like selfies people, that impact their life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding children becoming 'selfish' is mentioned multiple times without being fully extended with sophisticated reasoning. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively synthesize the points made. To improve, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and ensure that your position is clearly maintained and supported throughout the entire essay rather than just stated in the final paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'in others words' and 'as a result' are used frequently and sometimes inappropriately, such as starting a sentence with 'It makes children selfish' without a proper subject or linking it poorly to the previous clause. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences feels disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive language such as 'choices', 'decisions', and 'good/bad'. There are also instances of incorrect word forms, such as 'selfies people' instead of 'selfish people' and 'short terms wants' instead of 'short-term wants'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to child development and social behavior, and focus on using words in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they not think'), missing articles, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'It makes children selfish because they only short terms wants.'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces placed before commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence structure and proofreading for subject-verb agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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