Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, freedom is considered as a basic inheritance in society, and everyone respects individual opinion. This can be applied to children too, however many believe that allowing them to make their own choices will create a society of selfishness. While others think it is crucial for children to make decision about matters affect them. Both of the points are discussed future in the essay.
Allowing children to make everyday choices like food, clothing, etc. can result in a society where individuals only think about themselves and can develop a sense of stubbedness and they will demand expensive items which will create a financial burden to their parents. Additionally, humanity will start to fade as selfishness will drastically develop, and the society will suffer from it.
On the other hand, if children are guided correctly to make choices or wishes, it will significantly benefit them during the adulthood. For example, they will learn to make independent decision during hard times. They will also learn to make smart financial decision at an early age. They will be familiar the terms budgeting, investing, etc.
To recapitulate, giving freedom for making personalized choice can lead children to stubbedness and can even fade humanity from them, but through right guidance it will benefit them in numerous ways to tackle adult problems.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, though the development is quite limited. The essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which prevents a full exploration of the ideas. While the main points regarding selfishness versus independence are relevant, they lack sufficient supporting evidence or detailed examples. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you must expand your body paragraphs with more detailed explanations and specific examples to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Additionally,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To recapitulate,' which help guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas feels somewhat mechanical, and the transitions between sentences could be smoother. The overall structure is clear, but the brevity of the response limits the complexity of the logical flow. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some noticeable errors in word choice, such as 'stubbedness' (likely meant 'stubbornness') and 'basic inheritance' (which is not a standard collocation in this context). The phrase 'make decision' is grammatically incorrect (should be 'make decisions'). While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'budgeting' and 'investing,' the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'matters affect them' should be 'matters that affect them,' and 'be familiar the terms' is missing a preposition ('familiar with'). There are also issues with article usage and pluralization. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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