Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that children should be allowed to make their choices in every matter and the subsequently the society of indivituals who only cares about their own choices, while other consider that it is significant for children to make selection about matters that affect them. I am going to discuss both views but I believe parents should guide them and help to understand the things that are better for them.

First of all, children who are allowed to make their decision from the younger age may become stubborn. The matters such as food, clothes and entertainment should be the things that must be selected by parent because they are able to understand the need of their children. For example, a children gain alot of fat due to daily consumption of junk food and at that stage he has to quite that habit, but then he would not listen to their elders because he were allowed to make his decisions. However, we can allow the activites that are beneficial for them such as allow them to play a game that they want.

On the other hand, children can select an option which is comfortable for them; at the early ages childrens mind is not fully developed and they are unable to make the correct decision, they just chose options according to their desire rather than the consquences. In addition, parents should guide them and try to make the decision that are flexiable and understandable for them.

In my perspective, children need a guide at the early years because at that time children's mind is under developing phase and he learn the thing that is happening in their surrounding.

In conclusion, no check and balance may result the negative impact on their life. In constrast, we can own the trust of children by friendly instruction and that will help them make correct decisions later in the life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding children becoming 'stubborn' is a good starting point but lacks depth. The example provided about junk food is relevant but the explanation is slightly disjointed. To improve, you should expand on the reasoning behind your points rather than just stating them. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and could more effectively summarise the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs. Overall, the task is addressed, but the depth of analysis is inconsistent.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'and the subsequently the society' in the introduction, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between the junk food example and the suggestion to allow games is abrupt. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'consumption', 'consequences', and 'developing phase'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'make selection' instead of 'make decisions', 'quite that habit' instead of 'quit that habit', and 'own the trust' instead of 'gain the trust'. There is also a spelling error with 'indivituals'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your word choices are natural and accurate in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('childrens mind is', 'he learn the thing'), incorrect pronoun usage ('he were allowed'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage in complex sentences. While you attempt complex structures, they are often marred by these errors. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, such as pluralisation and verb tense consistency, will significantly improve your score.

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