Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some individuals think that giving freedom to youngsters to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes, while other people believe that it is significant for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Although both views have merits, I believe that it is essential to make decisions about matters that affect children.
On the one hand, every children have freedom to enjoy it, so they should be allowed to choose their own clothes to wear, food to eat, and entertainment. To illustrate this, if youngsters are not allowed to wear clothes and eat food in any function that he wanted, then it may harm their mental health as they will think they are in cage. In addition, children love playing, so it is better idea to leave them enjoying any sports because it also benefits their health better.
On the other hand, making a wide range of decisions can sometimes affect them and it must be supervised by their guardians. For example, if children are eating a lots of junk food everyday then it is detrimental habits, which can lead them suffering from diseases and obesity. Furthermore, parents should also allow their kids to wear clothes, which are liked by contemporary society.
In my opinion, children should not be restricted from wearing clothes, eating foods that are healthy, and enjoying that are not harmful for their body. Therefore, if these things are available at home premises, they can enjoy it.
In conclusion, focusing on health of their own and good citizens of contemporary society, they gain freedom at all. I believe
that a balanced approach is the most effective way to prepare children for both their good natives of the society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'mental health' and being 'in a cage' is a strong point but lacks sufficient elaboration. Similarly, the conclusion is slightly confusing, as it introduces new ideas about 'good natives' that were not previously discussed. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly links back to the prompt's core question about individual autonomy versus parental guidance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'In addition,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, in the final paragraph, the phrase 'they gain freedom at all' lacks a clear antecedent and does not logically connect to the preceding sentence. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their intended nouns would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at using topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'detrimental habits' and 'contemporary society.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'good natives' and 'home premises,' which sound unnatural in this context. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. Expanding the range of vocabulary to include more academic synonyms would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'every children have'), article usage (e.g., 'eating a lots of'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'enjoying that are not harmful'). While the meaning remains clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with plurals and prepositions, will significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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