Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children's freedom has a great effect on their future careers and behavior. There is an ongoing debate where some people claim that providing freedom of choice to children on everyday matters such as food, clothes, and entertainment will lead to a society of individuals who only think about themselves, while others argue that freedom of choice should be given to children to make decision about matters that affect them. This essay argues from both stances, including personal opinion. Giving authority to children about their decisions can lead to taking wrong decision that affects them later, and children do not know the value of certain things. However, some freedom of choice given to children can expand their vocabulary.

Allowing children to make their own choices will result in a society of individuals who only think about themselves. Children might make wrong decisions that will affect them later in their lives if they are given the freedom of choice, such as using drugs and getting involved in gang fights. For example, a child who has freedom will use drugs to please themselves and involve ingang fights to gain respect in the street, as they are only thinking about themselves. So, children who are given freedom of choice will result in a society of people who only think about personal interest.

However, some time given freedom to make their own choice can lead to an expansion in children's vocabulary. As today's children are all over social media platforms and with the given freedom, they can view their own entertainment clips or movies that directly or indirectly help them. For example, today's children use to watch different kinds of animations which were dubbed in the English language, which will improve their English skills and other problem-solving skills that are necessary in their day-to-day life. So giving freedom of choice can have a positive impact on children's lives.

Nevertheless, in my personal opinion, children's freedom of choice should be restricted to avoid a society full of individuals who only think about themselves. As children have a lower vocabulary than adults in general, giving freedom of choice can lead to ungratefulness for some valuable attributes in life. For example, rich-class children are given freedom of choice to demand everything they wish for; however, children will never know the value of the product and will be ungrateful. So, freedom of choice should be restricted for children.

In conclusion, giving freedom to children can expand their vocabulary. However, it might lead to making wrong decisions and being ungrateful. So, freedom of choice should be restricted to children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both views regarding children's freedom of choice. The introduction sets up the argument effectively, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. However, the arguments presented could be more developed, particularly in supporting claims with relevant examples. The negative outcomes of children making their own choices are highlighted, but this could benefit from more detailed examples. Overall, the task achievement is moderate as the response addresses the prompt but lacks depth in some arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. However, some cohesion is lacking, particularly in transitions between ideas. For example, phrases like "However, some time given freedom to make their own choice..." could be clearer. The use of linking words varies; introducing contrasting ideas could be more consistent. More effective sentence linking would enhance the flow, thus improving coherence. Overall, coherence and cohesion are reasonably good but need refinement.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The lexical resource in this essay shows a decent range, but word choice can be simplified or vague at times. Phrases like "expand their vocabulary" and "given freedom" are clear but could be expressed with greater sophistication. The use of informal language and imprecise phrases like "involving in gang fights" impacts the overall impression. For example, instead of "children do not know the value of certain things," a more academic phrase could be used. Overall, vocabulary use is adequate, but more variety and precision would elevate the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

Grammatical range is reasonably varied, using a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical mistakes such as "children might make wrong decisions that will affect them later..." which could be rephrased more clearly. The use of article forms and prepositions is inconsistent: for instance, "to make decision about matters" should be "to make decisions about matters." Additionally, syntax errors do occasionally hinder clarity. Overall, the grammatical range is adequate, but accuracy should be improved.

Overall feedback

This response effectively tackles the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding children's freedom of choice. The writer structures the essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to strengthen the argument, it’s essential to elaborate more on examples that support each viewpoint. Additionally, enhancing vocabulary for sophistication and ensuring grammatical accuracy will improve overall clarity. Focusing on more varied and precise word choice, as well as refining sentence structure for smooth coherence, will significantly elevate the effectiveness of future essays.

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