Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is about that how much is it important for children to make their decisions by themselves in every matter of society like food ,clothes and entertainment .This is because of that parents should give rights to children to make their decisions themselves which make them confident.

According to my opinion , parents should give the rights to children to make their decisions by themselves . If it become start in our society then it will become privilege for the society and environment . That's why i always prefer that children should take their resolutions by them because it will gloom their personality .

Overall , it is very essential for the life of student that he would

embrace his choices by himself that will help him to shine his personality . So , i always suggest every student and every struggler of modern world to take them their decisions by themselves .

Moreover, it can also be seen that those specific students who are facilitated to do what they are capable of can do their task in an extraordinary manner. For instance if we take a view on Chinese students that are given enforcement to select their own discipline of study we see those students bring about revolution in specific field . They took their country on next level.

Finally, I conclude that those students that are given authority to move forward according to their own interest will be able to do great in their lives. At last final decision came out that must be given freedom for the enhancement and development of their brilliant qualities .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that allowing children to make decisions builds confidence and leads to extraordinary task performance, the counter-argument—that this might lead to self-centered individuals—is not addressed or refuted. The essay focuses almost exclusively on the benefits of autonomy. To improve, you must provide a balanced discussion by exploring the potential drawbacks mentioned in the prompt, such as the risk of children becoming overly focused on their own wishes, before concluding with your own perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. While some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'For instance' are used, they are sometimes placed in contexts that do not flow naturally. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion feels disjointed. To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence and that ideas are linked more fluidly using a wider variety of cohesive devices rather than relying on repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'make their decisions by themselves' and 'shine his personality' are used multiple times, which restricts the range. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'take their resolutions' (instead of 'make decisions') and 'given enforcement' (which is the opposite of the intended meaning). To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary. Avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the essay and try to use synonyms to express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with article usage ('the society'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure (e.g., 'It is about that how much is it important'). Many sentences are awkward or contain redundant words, such as 'This is because of that parents should give rights'. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect word order will significantly enhance the clarity of your writing.

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