Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argue that some people giving liberty to their children to make there choice in daily rooting such as food, clothes and entertainment. is likely to result in society in individual who think their own wishes other believe that it is totally opposite and it will affect them. In my opinion, I agree with this view because individual thinking can make more powerful mindset and it can make and improve the human nature and behaviour

this essay will examine both view and give opinion with example

First and the foremost, there are clear result why powerful way of mindset can only possible by individual thinking. For example buddhas academy is one of the biggest example. To illustrate, they have a heavy mindset behind that the are thinking their creative ideas

Additionally, behaviour and nature is improve by human in many ways like they want to learn from their childhood. choice can improve the children mindset and also behaviour for example if i talk about my self i order my pizza two days ago i feel like i can do better next time and my mindset is go through positive way so never judge your self and make your own everything

However, children want to make decisions about matters that affect them in the future and in the present but not effect their day to day life

in conclusion, although there are minor argument against this, I strongly believe that individual thinking can grow the children brain Because it make the powerful mindset and open to think like a mastermind

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument, but the development of ideas is significantly underdeveloped. The points made regarding 'Buddhas academy' and the personal anecdote about ordering pizza lack logical connection to the prompt's core theme of child autonomy versus societal impact. The position is stated, but the reasoning remains superficial and lacks the depth required for a higher band. The essay struggles to maintain a clear, academic argument throughout, often veering into unclear or irrelevant statements. To improve, you must provide clear, logical explanations for your claims and ensure your examples directly support the topic rather than being anecdotal or vague.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is frequently disrupted by unclear transitions and disjointed sentences. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'First and the foremost', 'Additionally', 'However'), they are often used incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. The referencing is sometimes confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the argument. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks logical cohesion, as the sentences do not build upon each other to form a coherent argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'daily rooting' instead of 'daily routine' and 'heavy mindset' which is not idiomatic. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas precisely. Many phrases are awkward, such as 'make your own everything', which impedes the clarity of your message. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on basic, informal language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'It is often argue'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complex forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences and misuse of periods. The lack of control over basic grammar makes the text difficult to read. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and consistent punctuation before attempting more complex structures.

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