Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I totally agree with the later belief that it is essential to let children make decision about the matters that they are affected. On the other hand, I do not entirely agree with the first belief.

FIrst of all, to discuss this topic it is very important to know the mindset of the children. Children tend to show a very strong raw emotion about their everyday activities like eating, wearing clothes, watching tv, cartoons etc. Some of these activities have serious impact on the children. Choosing of clothings is one of them. If parents force the child about wearing certain color or certain types of clothes, then it will be stuck to the child's mind and he/she will grow up having a negative mindset towards other kinds of clothings. So it is better to let children choose the thing that matters most to them. For example, In my childhood, my mother always forced me to wear black shirt or pants, after growing up I hate to see people wearing other colored clothes. The mindset that was enforced to me in my childhood, is affecting me in my current life.

I do not totally support the first belief that the children who always get to choose their matters become selfless individuals of the society. I do agree that children should no be always let to choose the everyday matters. But there is not any clear evident that if the do so they will be a selfless person. Form my experience, I can tell a one or two things about this matter. I was friend with all kinds of children, rich and poor. I had a friend whose parents always let him choose for everything in everyday's life. But even after that he did not grow up a selfless person yet he is kind and helpful towards the society. The opposite also exists around us but that is not the entire scenario.

So, there was some clear thoughts from my own personal experience that the children should be allowed to choose certain things but not all. Even if they do so, there is not any clear evidence that they will become a selfless person.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide personal anecdotes, such as the example of your mother forcing you to wear certain clothes, the discussion regarding the 'selfless' argument is slightly underdeveloped and repetitive. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more balanced and analytical rather than relying solely on personal experience. The conclusion is a bit brief and does not fully synthesize the points discussed. Ensure that each paragraph clearly contributes to the overall argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'First of all,' 'On the other hand,' and 'For example,' which help the reader follow your argument. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'the later belief' (which should be 'latter') and 'the first belief.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. There are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'the later belief' instead of 'the latter' and 'not any clear evident' instead of 'evidence.' You also use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'everyday matters' and 'mindset.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. For instance, instead of 'forced me to wear,' you could use 'compelled me to dress in.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'make decision' (should be 'decisions'), 'matters that they are affected' (should be 'matters that affect them'), and 'I was friend with' (should be 'I was friends with'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor errors in sentence construction. To achieve a higher band, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions, as these errors occur throughout the text.

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